end_of_innocence

well, it's the eve of my 27th birthday now. i've never been a big birthday person. never have, never will be.

the only reason is that i bring it up is that i was just recently contacted by an old friend from my teenage years on Facebook that i haven't spoke to in almost 10 years. we were talking about growing up and how the time has flown by. i always said growing up i never expected to see 27. it just seemed so far away and an unlikely place.

and it seems every year around end of august/start of september i would start to get into a pre-b'day funk that usually lasts until mid-october/early november. you try to look at the good things going on, but it's hard. be it being single, still living at home, working a shitty job or not having a high school diploma - all issues from the past that have weighed heavy on the heart and head.

this year things should be better. i'm moving out in a month and i have a decent job that i don't dread going to everyday. but i'm still in a funk

i think it's that i'm lonely. most of my friends are in long term commited relationships or serial daters, bouncing from one person to the next.

it's not even so much that i'm looking for a relationship. it's more so just companionship. people to hang out with. to go to the bar, movies, mini-putting, whatever. even just to chill out with and do nothing. it'd be nice.


i don't know where i was going with this, kinda lost my train of thought