emtdan

A Christmas Story
>
>'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
>He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
>Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
>I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
>
>I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
>Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
>The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
>The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
>
>Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
>Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
>And just when I thought that things would get better
>Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
>They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
>Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
>
>And the kids these days--they all are the pits
>They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
>I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
>Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
>I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
>They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
>
>Flying through the air...dodging the trees
>Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
>I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
>I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
>
>There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
>I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season