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emqueue

Member Since 2005

Followers 5 Following 9

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Saturday May 30, 2009

May 30, 2009
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I keep thinking I'm actually going to make a journal a part of my day. I used to be jealous of Kate getting to look back, and all she really did was chronicle events very matter-of-factly. I can't seem to make it worth while. I struggle a bit with whether or not public is acceptable, as there's a problem of self importance and an almost ubiquitous sense of distortion, but also the possible benefit of breaking down part of the cost of actually trying to get to know people in the future. The older I get, the more it feels like there's just too much background to share and learn, so it gets easier to just keep the same friends. Isn't that just momentum though? Are the people I've known a long time really the people that are going to be the ones I connect to the best and am challenged by the most? I kinda doubt it. Anyway, I'm obviously sorta trying.

It's a nice day, so I should probably go to the park and read, but I have a paper due in a week or two. Until it's the absolute last minute, I'll ignore the paper, but disallow myself anything actually fun. I'll tell myself I can't commit to real activities because I have the paper, but won't work on the paper. I remember touring my undergraduate institution as a high school senior. I saw the tower of senior theses and thought, "if nothing else, graduating from here will mean I'll have gotten it together enough to write something worthwhile." Anyone touring the school should go look at my paper so they know that this thought was not correct. And here I am. Maybe this time, something worth while?

On the upside, this was a pretty satisfying answer to something I've often wondered about: we are indeed still evolving. Hopefully and end to grade inflation will create a selection pressure that wipes away people that can't motivate themselves to write things down in coherent and valuable ways.

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