I'm going to fast forward a bit and assume those reading this understand the obvious difference between sexuality and gender. I know I've got a good deal of friends who wrinkle their nose at that second word like I wrinkle my nose at rich pricks, so please understand that this is my 42 year old ass trying to play catch up.
Sexually I have, whether I have chosen to admit at one time or another, always been pansexual. That fact has lead to a good deal of confusion, unintended feelings of betrayal, and all over lessons painfully learned in knowing that I have to proclaim my sexuality like a blue eyed goose standing in a morning field. Regularly and often.
Gender though...folks. Fucked if I know, I got nothing! Gender is an arbitrary social construct and knowing that I get why a lot of my friends are tossing it in the fire that it likely belongs in.
That said, I've always been confused about my gender, I still am. I have always felt like a sister who can never belong. I have always identified with lesbian life and culture. I've always felt like a fraud though because here I am, dick and all...
I've dressed and acted the part, a lot, many times without even realizing it but I've never felt confident enough to bring it up before. I'm as queer as a three dollar bill but largely not presenting out of lack of confidence alone. So there's some shit to toss at all of you that I don't even know how to properly explain much less assess myself.