Depression
Yeah, that clinical shit.
But wait, there's more...
for the low, low price of, "you were born this way, stupid" we also have a prevailing sense of guilt, fear of failure, fear of success, suicidal thrill impulses, social anxiety, societal pressures to fit in and find love..."but no one is ever going to fall in love with you, you unfuckable, fat garden gnome" Oh good, my inner monologue, just in time.
I'd hope to get hit by a city bus but that would be an awful inconvenience for all the passengers on board plus lets face it, I can't even get a bus to hit on me. Inappropriate humor to scare the straights into thinking I'm on the edge? Shit, I live on a cliff side and my lips are constantly chapped from the fucking wind, I stopped worrying about using my words a long time ago, they are literally all I have.
If any of that fits? Get a depression network kids. Don't seek out happy people for help when you're tired of the wind, instead peer around the corner of the cliff, there's plenty of people just as tired of the wind as you are and at least they'll understand that the shitty humor is a coping mechanism and not a cry for attention.