emptyharbour

I'm finding it hard to get out of bed every morning. It all seems so trivial and silly, but since she left, I just can't see the bright side of anything. It all seems so damn pointless. I wake, shower, brush my teeth, maybe play some guitar. But it's just some boring rerun again and again, always shown in these muted shades of gray.

Classes aren't really going anywhere. Though I'm more than capable at excelling in all these, I just can't find the desire. Again and again, the same notes and same silly theories. And what exactly am I working towards, anyways? Isn't there supposed to be some goal, some target career? But all I can think of is working hard to make some ridiculous salary, which ultimately buys me a bigger, better, house. Bigger and better and still completely empty whenever I come home.

Is this depression? Or just stagnance? All I know is I want so badly for things to change. Or maybe, to go back to how they were.

I'm such a colossal fool.