emptyharbour

I had that dream again, the sad one with falling stars and skipping stones. Woke up shivering in the dark, listening to a silence unheard in this house for years. Outside; snow and sunrise both claw at my window. I lay here, staring up at the shifting shadows as the last faint wisps of sleep and sorrow both bleed out into morning air, and only one thought manages to emerge; we all know so little and understand even less. We are all infants, we are all still in the womb.

I spent the last few days hanging out a bit with one of the more amazing women I've met in a long while. Fun, creative, intelligent and good humored. How I am fighting not to be smitten, but I know that even by admitting to such a struggle, I've already lost. So now, mixed signals and misunderstandings. Complications and conversations. I cannot understand how she tolerates the man she is currently with. He is everything she is not; she is everything he lacks. But perhaps I am just bitter.

I am considering a move in the coming year; perhaps up island to a smaller town with fewer people and more space. I feel that this town has become too small for my dreams, and too large for my comfort. I want to run before my roots run too deep again.

This, on a side note, is my best friend in the whole world.