emptyharbour

"It may seem to you to be no big thing this turmoil within me, this year of poison and pick locks. As if a fish in a tank I remain separated from more than just the world by the glass and the smallest of plastic treasure chests. I remain separated from myself, from the knowing of things easy, and from the solitude of this secret...
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And I wonder how that happened.

Sometimes you want to remember that you ought to forget. Sometimes you just get tired. Sometimes, you get tired of being just a sometimes.

I'm so tired.

I liked you better, back then.

Fucking touchpad just erased my entry. Goddamn I hate laptops sometimes.

Things are complicated, here. I am upset and uncomfortable. So much shit flying around these days, and I can't seem to find exactly where I belong. Those I thought were friends show colours more fitting to cowards. Family abandons, and later returns only when in need. And there is never enough fucking money. Christ......
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So here we are again; late night blogging in a house too hot for sleep. I've realized that I really didn't give this site, and the people on it, much of a chance, so I'm back for another kick at the cat. Joining a few groups, leaving a few comments... hell, maybe I'll even make a friend or two somewhere along the lines. All I'm...
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Where are the bitter hearts of this world to flee to elude the compromise of contentment? If divinity is as the sea, then surely the ships of our souls sail in contempt of it. For were we divine we would be welcome below the waves, and not in such a hurry to ignorantly dispose of ourselves in an attempt to merely control the surface.

lonely at the only
clawing through the smoke
the poets are so hip they don't even write poems
if i knew what was wrong i'd let you know
buy me a drink I don't want to drink alone
so full of worry i just need to sleep
its not that i've been crying its just that my eyes leak
if i knew what was wrong...
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...

Visiting the remains of our childhood, our family, our house and our home. Slinking sense of regret, though only in a way we can both smile at. Things worked out, didn't they? I chase you, laughing, around ancient cedars and the stunted pine. This is what it felt like, to be alive, then. What it feels like, to be alive, now. I am glad for...
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Had enough of these useless sunsets

I'm writing "I know the fault's all mine", but please stay strong.
If they remember me, will they forget the meaning of why I came so far to drown?
I'm forgetting it myself.

Weak heart for a weak man.

I'm not enthused, impressed, or really even interested anymore.

Bye, for awhile.

It snowed here, which is a fairly rare occurance. I left my home on the prairies to come here and escape winter... so to get shitty cold and snow now is a bit of a kick in the ass. Oh well. It'll melt soon enough, I hope.

Band practice in 5 hours, and I'm too eager to sleep. How excited this crap gets me is...
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