empty

Funny how life can raise you up and crush you all at the same time. Sometimes your heart leads you astray and you end up loving someone you can't have tho there is some hope that something can bring you together. I forget the world doesn't have hollywood happy endings. The girl I have spend the last few weeks, well honestly longer enthralled with, was preggie, and had a boyfriend. Okay not a problem I can accept that ya know what if they don't last she will need someone right, Oh forgot she lives in the UK. So now the impossible is seemed to be there. Hard to make a relationship out of that. So You try to look past that and be a Dreamer of How there is always a chance. Well Shellie went into labor on sunday, She emailed before she went to the hospital, and I was So worried about her and the baby, and today I get the good news that she and the Baby were fine. I am so Excited for her and happy, but then comes the down side, realization.

Thats Right Joe, You really can't have her now, The dreams of making the impossible Possible just went up in smoke. Why might you ask, I could never in good conscience break up a family... So the dream is dead. and In the end you have the cold empty feeling of being alone once more and the tears of joy and sadness. And then you wonder, will I be able to fine real love. Now it seems like I am merely a toy for fate to crush my dreams over and over again.