emokid109

Slipping by
By: Nick

I'm very self centered,
so when you become part of the self
you become my center...

Let me not choose
between now and forever
because i'll take forever now...

My self, my center
you have become me
but then who am I?

What is to become
of someone or anyone
who can't see the trees in forests

So i sit...
and i ponder...
as life slips me by...

For me, being in a good mood is merely temporary. I haven't been truly happy in a long time, not with myself and not with the world that surrounds me. I can't change the world, that is for sure. and i've tried to change myself. I have a song that i wrote, the title is "This sunny disposition is chemically induced". Is that what our lives have become? A product of the medication we take? I stopped taking my medication about a week ago and its worse now then before I took it.
for example, I use to be able to stand being in a place with lots of people. i would find myself a quite corner and sit..if someone wanted to talk to me, they could....but i haven't been to a bar or to a place that was full of people in months. last night i went to a friends going away party...there was alot of people in a little space...and i started to freak out! i couldn't stop moving, or figiting. I just felt completely awkward. and i came to the realization that being alone..for me...is easier then being with people.
the only problem with that is that i don't want to end up as a hermit living in the woods...or even like Thoreau..chilling in the woods writing my thoughts.
Basically there are a certain number of people that are destined to be alone, and i know i'm one of them...