emma35

i got myself the biggest sweethawrt there is.





and now, three hours or so later........
I know that I need this vacation but I feel so poopy today. my head is throbbing and its cold and i'm alone. my sister can't even bother to put my dishes up with hers.....they just got set on the dining room table....like they don't belong here. I don't belong here. It's almost like I'm leaving oklahoma for good......being pushed away by everyone I care about here. my therapist telling me that my relationship won't last and my boyfriend telling me he isn't sure which is closer to a no than it is to a yes.
I had this dream last night I was on this really steep road by a lake and all my stuff kept falling into the lake and I couldn't keep my balance. my heart feels heavy
and there's nothing anyone can say or do to make me okay
again.

I feel like the whole world is just taking a massive shit on me.......
i have no umbrella and it's pouring outside......oklahoma is this huge vortex and it's just sucking the life out of me...the people......the place itself. The negativity.......


every time i start to be positive.....or try to be optimistic there someone is to just smash my idea to pieces...to literally shit all over it. i have to go to class now and walk in the rain without an umbrella and finaly check out of my stupid dorm room forever.

at least i have a hoody to keep the rain off of me somewhat. thanks for that.