emma35

I guess I havent updated for lack of privacy if not for any other reason. The motel is scary and ghetto, but it is growing on me like a fungus. In other words, I completely fucking detest it but I can get through the next couple of weeks living there. My parents leave the 11th of July, which seems far away but it really isnt. A friend of mine died, senselessly I might add. I was sad when I found out but now I just feel very detached from it. Its hard to deal with, but even more so I imagine for the people that were closer to him. Its dark outside and the sun is shining through the gaps between the clouds. It reminds me of Colorado skies. I wish a tornado would just blow that damned motel away. Everything seems so pointless at this moment. I have to go to the post office later and mail off the damned money order for the ticket I got. Im going to Dallas, Texas this Saturday, and Im less than excited. Maybe when it gets closer I will get more excited? Lack of money really puts a damper on things. :\ but overall Im just kind of depressed feeling lately. My wrists are bruisedit looks like my boyfriend abuses me. haha.
I feel like listening to some of the slower tracks from Sunna, but alas I dont even have my cds. I loaned them to Jessica so she could burn the ones she wanted. I need to escape from this town. Its so depressing for me. I feel like things are about to change even more, and I dont know if I will be ready. I wont say Im having doubts about my future plans, but things just feel so uncertain right now.


i don't know what I would do without you.