emilyrocks

i graduate from cosmetology school on january 8th at 3:30 pm. this kinda freaks me out a little. all of a sudden i have what seems to be a career. very soon i will no longer be a student which means i will no longer be able to depend on my mommy and daddy for money to pay my rent and get gas and stuff. i'm going to have to get *gasp* a job. a real job. not some mamby pampy fast food thing (which is technically a real job and i suppose vital to the upkeep of our little society, but still not as hard core as a job as a stylist). i have no idea what it's like to be on my own. i have never been required to do anything for myself. in the past, any time i've had some serious problem, or not so serious problem, i could make one little phone call to my mom and everything would be okay. so i'm having myself a little freak out. it's taken me a year and a quarter to get through school, almost to the day, and i'm really proud of myself for actually finishing something i've statred, but the idea of doing something else is weird. i guess i don't do well with change. to be perfectly honest, i'm scared shitless. i wish that somewhere along the way i had learned some semblance of self reliance. i don't think i ever did. i have no idea what i'm going to do when left to my own devices. i'm scared and worried and it's not pretty.

xo