Thanks everyone for your support. I wish I could say things are getting better, but that would be a lie. Now I am definitely not looking forward to winter break anymore. 
I went to the visitation Sunday night. His dad was so strong. He talked about how Brandon and I DJ'ed my 14th birthday party and how he remembered setting up the equipment. Then we talked about where Brandon worked and how I saw him twice over the summer. I was blubbering and crying the whole time.
His mother and I hugged and, as we were both crying, she told me how he thought so highly of me. I feel bad - she should not be consoling me. But I do/did need it. I can't imagine how she must feel because I feel so incredibly horrible, sad, devastated, etc. While I was there (I left before the praying started because I am atheist, and it only would have made me feel awkward to pray), I was crying as much as his own mother. It was terrible. I hate death. And life for that matter.
I went to the visitation Sunday night. His dad was so strong. He talked about how Brandon and I DJ'ed my 14th birthday party and how he remembered setting up the equipment. Then we talked about where Brandon worked and how I saw him twice over the summer. I was blubbering and crying the whole time.
His mother and I hugged and, as we were both crying, she told me how he thought so highly of me. I feel bad - she should not be consoling me. But I do/did need it. I can't imagine how she must feel because I feel so incredibly horrible, sad, devastated, etc. While I was there (I left before the praying started because I am atheist, and it only would have made me feel awkward to pray), I was crying as much as his own mother. It was terrible. I hate death. And life for that matter.
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Gimme a hint..
(this is why my friends know not to ever say anything to me about gifts. I go crazy with the not knowing.)