emily_m

How can this really be happening?

We grew up together. We were best friends in middle school. We had a DJ business together. He called me when I missed school. We went through so many things together. I wrote about him constantly in my journal that I started in middle school. We lost touch for a couple years, and I just found him again this summer. Now he is gone forever. Now, to add to all the nice things I wrote about him, I have a journal entry about his death. Why? He was still a teenager. He hadn't even lived yet. I saw him twice this summer. Had I known those were the last months of his life, I would've have spent more time with him and told him how important he was to me and how overjoyed I was to get back in touch with him. I can't bare to delete his number from my phone. I want to call to listen to his voicemail, but I'm afraid his parents will see that I called and think I am sick or something. Stupid sad faces cannot convey how I feel. I haven't stopped crying. Sleeping is so hard, and waking up is worse because I have to remember he is dead all over again. I don't want your sympathy. Just bring him back.

It even says that he is still online...