I hate feeling like i have absolutely no direction in life, but it's true.
I'm 23 years old, working at a restaurant where I make decent tips, living with my bf of 2 1/2 years who is wonderful. I have made some good friends in Columbus, and I'm enjoying the lone class that I'm taking this semester. I have the whole world in my wake, ready for my take off.
But I feel SO TRAPPED. Completely and utterly TRAPPED and chained down by my own fears. I want a new direction in life. I'm tired of being a waitress. I'm tired of being attached. I don't want to meander about in a state of near comatose, day after meaningless day just going through the motions. I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE.
That's why I spend so much time on this site. The pics are great, but more than anything I come here to read about people, strong and independent women, who are living the life that they want to live. To see life through the eyes of someone who is fearless and in control of their destiny, and to wish that I had that strength.
I always think about all I want to do, and it's always "someday." "Someday" I'll be able to afford to live on my own. "Someday" I will use my creativity to it's full potential. "Someday" I'll make a difference. FUCK why am I so scared to jump!? What is holding me back?? Fear of failure, the unknown, of my own power??
What the fuck is it that I want, anyway???
I'm 23 years old, working at a restaurant where I make decent tips, living with my bf of 2 1/2 years who is wonderful. I have made some good friends in Columbus, and I'm enjoying the lone class that I'm taking this semester. I have the whole world in my wake, ready for my take off.
But I feel SO TRAPPED. Completely and utterly TRAPPED and chained down by my own fears. I want a new direction in life. I'm tired of being a waitress. I'm tired of being attached. I don't want to meander about in a state of near comatose, day after meaningless day just going through the motions. I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE.
That's why I spend so much time on this site. The pics are great, but more than anything I come here to read about people, strong and independent women, who are living the life that they want to live. To see life through the eyes of someone who is fearless and in control of their destiny, and to wish that I had that strength.
I always think about all I want to do, and it's always "someday." "Someday" I'll be able to afford to live on my own. "Someday" I will use my creativity to it's full potential. "Someday" I'll make a difference. FUCK why am I so scared to jump!? What is holding me back?? Fear of failure, the unknown, of my own power??
What the fuck is it that I want, anyway???
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
trilobitten:
now maybe i won't have to wear that second pair of socks when the snow comes. 
bebopbebop:
Occassionally, but it's too expensive for my broke ass, I usually only go to accompany my friend.