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emiloo

Member Since 2003

Followers 30 Following 7

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Tuesday Jul 05, 2005

Jul 5, 2005
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I don't feel like going into details, but I found my guinea pig last night suffocated in a plastic bag full of her food that was on the bed. I let her on the bed so she could stretch her legs a little and run around, and went on a walk, came back and she's face first in a bag on the floor. She was so still. I almost fucking puked, not because it was disgusting, but because I was horrified. I had to have my mom check to see if she was really dead because i couldn't do it. I kept waiting for her to breathe or move, but she was so still. Then I spent 45 min. digging a hole in the dry, rock solid earth to bury her in. I only slept 2 hours last night then I had to work at 7am.

I can't even describe how devastated I felt. What a fucking horrible way to die. And I KNOW it wouldn't have happened if I had just paid more attention to her and been more cautious, instead of leaving her to roam for almost 2 hours. I barely even paid attention to her in the last month. I haven't really held her or played w/ her in weeks.

Maybe some people think I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but she was a helpless little creature with her life basically in my hands and I fucked up and now she's dead. And it wasn't a nice death. Wasn't much of a life, either. I just wish I could turn back time and be a better mommy. frown

I'll miss her little squeaks. frown

R.I.P. Clover, 2002-2005
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
malloc01:
frown
Jul 7, 2005
sewpunk:
I feel SO bad. My eyes are watery after just reading that. frown

Please don't blame yourself. These accidents are a part of life. Without sadness, happiness wouldn;t be are sweet. So try to remember all the good things about Clover, not her tragic end.

And whatever you do, DO NOT read the poem "Rainbow Bridge", untill you are ready to sob.

Hope you are feeling better. smile
Jul 7, 2005

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