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emiloo

Member Since 2003

Followers 30 Following 7

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Sunday May 08, 2005

May 8, 2005
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Hey guys, sorry about all the negativity. I appreciate the comments...although I'm more worried about the seeming deterioration of my brain than whether I'm pretty or not. Still, it's nice to know that the public doesn't find me hideous.

My general manager told me the other day that I'm not improving as much as they'd like me to, and that if I don't improve within the next month I'll be "terminated." Nice of him to drop that on me, without any warning. I know there are some things I need to work on, but without anyone pointing me in the right direction how the hell am I supposed to improve anything?? I don't even know what I've been doing wrong because he won't take the time to tell me, or to show me the right way of doing it. Dave, the front-desk manager, told me yesterday that out of all the people there he feels I'm the only one who has the potential to do a great job, because I actually have a work ethic. (I do pride myself on a job well done, which is why I get so upset about my job.) He was saying that he'd be willing to take the time out to help me so I can prove that I'm capable, but I'm thinking that he shouldn't even bother. I know that I do have trouble with memorization and strict procedures, (hence my math problems) and that it will always be an obstacle unless I fucking meet it face to face and conquer it, but this is not the time. This particular scenario in which I could overcome that problem is just not worth it; it's a shitty job. I'll have other opportunities. In the mean time, I think it's just time to move on.

I've been reading When Things Fall Apart, and it's really giving me perspective. It's a wonderful book. I've also been spending a lot of time outside, just going on walks and whatnot. It's finally warm enough.

Oh, and I save another bunny yesterday. This one was a baby, and my dog was trying to chew on it. I was outside w/ Pebbles and heard this really high pitched squeaking, and turned to see my dog shoving her muzzle into something. It turned out to be a TINY baby bunny, so I got my dog off of her and picked her up in one hand, put my dog inside, and then put her back in the grass. She wasn't injured, that I could see anyway, but she was pretty shocked. She just kind of sat there, mortified. It was cute and sad at the same time.

My brother refuses to see any of his shortcomings. I finally told him today that everyone thinks he's really inconsiderate, and his response in a nutshell was "Too bad. It's not my fault that they don't like me." Yeah, really made some progress with that one.

I love Nate.

Byebye.

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