Howdy howdy. What a boring day. I have done nothing but eat and shop. I hate spending money, especially on stuff that I DO NOT NEED, my god I do not need. But I finally used my christmas gift certificate at the book store. I got a green witchcraft book, a "Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers" book, and a really cute manga(!) called Magic Knight Rayearth. I could say that it was money well spent, but I didn't pay for anything. But I guess my parents spent a good $50 for the certificate, so yes, money well spent. Indeed.
We made our mom (my bro and I) breakfast and dinner, then I took her out shopping and we gave her a couple presents. She was happy. She's one of the few people who seem genuinely excited when receiving cards or presents. She almost always cries when she reads our cards, haha. My mom is sweet.
A little nutty, though. But what do u expect at 57. Nutty is good.
I hung out w/ my friend Emily and her sister, Amy. (Weird situation, because her sister and I used to be really close, then grew apart, and I became close w/ Emily.) Anyway, I hadn't seen either of them for a while, so it was cool. I noticed though, at the end of the night once I was by myself, how much jealousy gets the best of me. Emily is really, really fucking cute and is tall and thin w/ nice boobs and cool style. Her sister is tall and thin; adorable hippy dread-head girl who is always making her own clothes and jewelry and shit. Emily is an awesome artist; she's good at fuckin everything from sketching to sculpting. They both always have some sort of project going, and they're both so damn creative it makes me sick. I'm a decent artist, but I'm really only good w/ pencil. I suck at painting and sewing and sculpting, and I never have the motivation or creativity to draw much anymore. Plus, they both are taller than me and weigh less than me, which makes me feel like a fucking cow. (It's so frustrating to be a 5'3, healthy 125 lbs. and still only be able to fit into size 9 jeans cuz ur ass is so big.) So every time I hang out w/ them, I end up just feeling more insicure about myself and get all depressed. I think that may be why I don't make an effort to get together with them a lot, even though we get along great and I truly love their company. I feel so fuckin inadequate around people. Thats why I rarely leave the house: I feel fine about myself when I'm the only kinda artistic/attractive female around. But once I get around others, I lose all of that self-assurance that comes from avoiding people who are better than me. I know I know, that's so negative, but that's truly how I feel, no exaggerations. I wish I wasn't so damn insicure about EVERYTHING. My god, I could have absolutely no talent and be ass ugly, right? So I should be thankful. But alas, I am a selfish human being, and feel like the powers that be have fucked me over for life. Fuckin A. (What does that mean, anyway?)
I am such a positive, happy person. Sigh...I'm just having another bad month, that's all. I'll start looking up soon, I promise.
SHIT. I just remembered I have an exam tomorrow, and I don't know what we're doing because I missed the last class where the teacher was supposed to tell us whether we'd have an in-class writing or if we'd have to write something ahead of time and just turn it in. I am so screwed. Why the hell do I find it so hard to make it to a 10am class, 3 times a week? It's soooo damn easy, yet I make it soooooooooo damn hard. BLAH I hate this day already!
OMG ok so sunshine trees clouds and faeries, rainbows and happy frogs and dolphins swimming in the big beautiful ocean. Flowers and trees and bugs everywhere. There. That's better.
We made our mom (my bro and I) breakfast and dinner, then I took her out shopping and we gave her a couple presents. She was happy. She's one of the few people who seem genuinely excited when receiving cards or presents. She almost always cries when she reads our cards, haha. My mom is sweet.
A little nutty, though. But what do u expect at 57. Nutty is good.
I hung out w/ my friend Emily and her sister, Amy. (Weird situation, because her sister and I used to be really close, then grew apart, and I became close w/ Emily.) Anyway, I hadn't seen either of them for a while, so it was cool. I noticed though, at the end of the night once I was by myself, how much jealousy gets the best of me. Emily is really, really fucking cute and is tall and thin w/ nice boobs and cool style. Her sister is tall and thin; adorable hippy dread-head girl who is always making her own clothes and jewelry and shit. Emily is an awesome artist; she's good at fuckin everything from sketching to sculpting. They both always have some sort of project going, and they're both so damn creative it makes me sick. I'm a decent artist, but I'm really only good w/ pencil. I suck at painting and sewing and sculpting, and I never have the motivation or creativity to draw much anymore. Plus, they both are taller than me and weigh less than me, which makes me feel like a fucking cow. (It's so frustrating to be a 5'3, healthy 125 lbs. and still only be able to fit into size 9 jeans cuz ur ass is so big.) So every time I hang out w/ them, I end up just feeling more insicure about myself and get all depressed. I think that may be why I don't make an effort to get together with them a lot, even though we get along great and I truly love their company. I feel so fuckin inadequate around people. Thats why I rarely leave the house: I feel fine about myself when I'm the only kinda artistic/attractive female around. But once I get around others, I lose all of that self-assurance that comes from avoiding people who are better than me. I know I know, that's so negative, but that's truly how I feel, no exaggerations. I wish I wasn't so damn insicure about EVERYTHING. My god, I could have absolutely no talent and be ass ugly, right? So I should be thankful. But alas, I am a selfish human being, and feel like the powers that be have fucked me over for life. Fuckin A. (What does that mean, anyway?)
I am such a positive, happy person. Sigh...I'm just having another bad month, that's all. I'll start looking up soon, I promise.
SHIT. I just remembered I have an exam tomorrow, and I don't know what we're doing because I missed the last class where the teacher was supposed to tell us whether we'd have an in-class writing or if we'd have to write something ahead of time and just turn it in. I am so screwed. Why the hell do I find it so hard to make it to a 10am class, 3 times a week? It's soooo damn easy, yet I make it soooooooooo damn hard. BLAH I hate this day already!
OMG ok so sunshine trees clouds and faeries, rainbows and happy frogs and dolphins swimming in the big beautiful ocean. Flowers and trees and bugs everywhere. There.
That's better.VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
everyone says i look tall, or thinks i'm tall? but i guess it's cos i walk and talk tall, bigger than life as they say
beards= cool, beards= warmth, beards=men, beards= me, i love em and can't imagine me without one, had one at various states for like 9 years or so? thats a lot of beard
strangly though, i shouldn't say, but i shave my pubic hair, wierd seeign as i'm all hairy everywhere else
sexy am i, let me tell you. that made a old man like me smile
hows tricks?
last one i did was a 270' flying mushroom zone, tripple backflip, nose plunge, lets see tony hawks do that one, bloody tit
If I may, from the pictures you have posted, you have very little to be self concious about. (Why do I always end up sounding like a perv in these things?)