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emiloo

Member Since 2003

Followers 30 Following 7

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Saturday Oct 18, 2003

Oct 18, 2003
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Kill Bill kicked ass. Overly violent and ridiculous fight scenes makes for one entertaining movie. And I loved how they weren't afraid to make light of kung-foo and blood...although for some reason gory cartoons always creep me out, and the little anime segment made me kinda uncomfortable. But the fact that my 2 friends and I were the only ones laughing our butts off in an otherwise conservative crowd made it all the more enjoyablesmile

So I had a pretty crappy breakdown in front of one of my friends yesterday. I hate to say that she actually brought it on...she's always getting on my case for being 20 and not doing anything w/ my life, while shes 19 and in her 2nd year of college. And I know she only does it cuz she worries about me and doesn't want me to waste my life, but she just approaches it wrong. She acts as if I don't care that my life is going nowhere, but I do. I'm just too scared to do anything about it. I don't know why I'm that way, especially since I'm even more scared that I'm going to be stuck here all my life. But I'm not going to get into it right now...I did way too much of that last night and too many familiar and scary thoughts entered my mind. I just wish she could be more sensitive sometimes...and I wish I could be stronger. Damnit I need to get my fuckin ass off the ground. Anyway...not talking about that now.

John might be home again this weekend. I have a feeling that a bad conversation is going to come up. This whole John trying to hard to be liked and being miserable cuz he can't be himself thing is starting to take it's toll on me. Thats not the person I want to be in a relationship w/. I want someone who is comfortable enough in his own skin that he can actually fucking talk to me like a normal person when he's around his friends. How am I supposed to know if the side I love is really him? That's scary.

Nothin' like poptarts and pumpkin bread for lunch. Music is my savior. Do any of the suicide girls actually ever think about suicide? Cuz then I'd be the poster girl for this website. (Please don't worry...I am ok.)
bort79:
Yeah now how the hell am I not going to worry! wink Actually I don't really know you but suicide. Trust me it sucks if you try it and fuck up. I OD on pills and drugs because I was trying to kill myself last year. The hospital sucked! Life support, carcoal shit you have to drink, armed gaurd, and then forced therapy! frown That sucked!!!

You know your 20 you still have plenty of time to do something with your life! Be young, have fun! Drink coke! biggrin Sorry I was starting to sound like a coca cola ad there for a second. I have friends who are 27 just now starting College and even you don't go to school doesn't mean your life is a waste! Just do something that makes you happy with life! Even if your just getting by. I mean my life sucks just read my journal! wink But I do what I can to make my life as fun as it can be.

Whats a waste of Life? I call a waste of life, being someone whos got a good job, can buy what ever they want, but doesn't have anytime for fun because their always working. Thats a waste! Fun is life not money. Although money does help! biggrin

Well have a good night! smile

P.S. If you ever need someone to talk to about suicide or anything. Feel free to post in my journal or contact (by hitting contact) me if you need or want too! Just don't do anything stupid! -k- Oh yeah so Kill Bill is a good movie. I want to go see it! smile
Oct 18, 2003
bort79:
Your welcome! blush I'm glad your alright. Yeah I think your right. I'm just alittle shy (scared) due to my recent divorce but maybe I should just go for it.

Well have a good night! smile
Oct 22, 2003

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