ember

Have you ever had one of those really blah days for no apparent reason? You wake up, you roll your ass out of bed, and you don't have any obligations persay, but somehow you find it difficult to get up and face the day...and when you do, you keep wishing you could go back to bed? Okay. Have you ever had a bunch of these days in a row? Do you ever finally wake up and think, "Why the Hell do I keep getting out of bed?!"

I've been having a lot of those days lately. I'm in a funk and I can't pull myself out of it. I feel like a zombie that just shuffles through the day at that slow-zombie pace, minus the weird groaning noises and vacant zombie-staring and stuff. Even now I feel like I'm in this fog, it's making it difficult to see things or think clearly. Maybe I'm only dreaming I'm updating my journal right now. MAYBE I'M GOING INSANE.

Maybe I'm just bored. As I've been sifting through various journal entries, I notice there are a lot of busy people. You know, people who actually have something worthwhile going on in their lives, things they can discuss that they actually give a shit about. It's not that I don't have things going on...I just feel like I could be doing more. I only work one day a week for crying out loud. When I'm not working, I surf the net and talk to people online all day, until someone calls me up or messages me with something else better to do. I'm stuck in this time-slick called existence and I feel I'm not doing enough with it while it's right there staring me in the face.

What do YOU do to pull yourself out of this cloud? I'm curious. What does everyone do to keep themselves busy, and more importantly, which of these things really means a lot to you? Exercising? Reading? Yoga? Meditation? Abnormally long bouts of masturbation while watching low-res porn movies you downloaded three years ago off of Kazaa? Please enlighten me. I could use some enlightenment right now.