I had the weirdest dream last night.
I was working at this conveyer belt cookie-maker thing, like the one in Edward Scissorhands, only this one was super sophisticated and could add frosting and sprinkles in the right places, like if the cookie was in the shape of a bear, there would be two sprinkles for the eyes, one for the nose, etc. All the cookies were cutout shapes, like gingerbread men and stuff like that. I think I was similar to a house-elf in Harry Potter, I remember being really, really short. Everything was going fine at first, until something went wrong with the machine, and the cookies coming out on the other end had contorted limbs and the frosting looked more like someone had just shit all over them. I thought to myself, "I need to get this machine fixed before Darth Vader shows up".
I tinkered around with it for awhile and made it even worse. All the little gadgets that are supposed to come down and cut up the cookies stopped working, and the oven turned off, so that wads of cookie dough would just slide across the conveyer belt and be collected in the little basket at the other end. Just then, Darth Vader showed up and demanded to know what happened to the cookies. I tried to explain to him that the machine went haywire for no reason and that it wasn't my fault, hoping like hell he wouldn't use the force to choke me to death.
He kinda stood there for a second and finally surmised that he would just fix it himself. So he got down on the floor on his back and scooted under the machine, like he was going to change oil on a car. At that moment I thought, "Holy shit, Darth Vader is on the floor and looking completely undignified, I wish I had a camera."
More shit happened after that, but it doesn't get any weirder until this happened: a porno came out starring Steve Martin tied naked to a tree and he had a banana for a dick, which was being sucked off by a monkey. Out of morbid curiousity I decided to rent this porno, and was being checked out by this girl I knew from high school that was a wicked tomboy. She said, "I saw this porno once and it kind of turned me on." And I was like, "Really?" and she replied, "No, not really."
I was working at this conveyer belt cookie-maker thing, like the one in Edward Scissorhands, only this one was super sophisticated and could add frosting and sprinkles in the right places, like if the cookie was in the shape of a bear, there would be two sprinkles for the eyes, one for the nose, etc. All the cookies were cutout shapes, like gingerbread men and stuff like that. I think I was similar to a house-elf in Harry Potter, I remember being really, really short. Everything was going fine at first, until something went wrong with the machine, and the cookies coming out on the other end had contorted limbs and the frosting looked more like someone had just shit all over them. I thought to myself, "I need to get this machine fixed before Darth Vader shows up".
I tinkered around with it for awhile and made it even worse. All the little gadgets that are supposed to come down and cut up the cookies stopped working, and the oven turned off, so that wads of cookie dough would just slide across the conveyer belt and be collected in the little basket at the other end. Just then, Darth Vader showed up and demanded to know what happened to the cookies. I tried to explain to him that the machine went haywire for no reason and that it wasn't my fault, hoping like hell he wouldn't use the force to choke me to death.
He kinda stood there for a second and finally surmised that he would just fix it himself. So he got down on the floor on his back and scooted under the machine, like he was going to change oil on a car. At that moment I thought, "Holy shit, Darth Vader is on the floor and looking completely undignified, I wish I had a camera."
More shit happened after that, but it doesn't get any weirder until this happened: a porno came out starring Steve Martin tied naked to a tree and he had a banana for a dick, which was being sucked off by a monkey. Out of morbid curiousity I decided to rent this porno, and was being checked out by this girl I knew from high school that was a wicked tomboy. She said, "I saw this porno once and it kind of turned me on." And I was like, "Really?" and she replied, "No, not really."
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Dreams always make me think, wtf?