Holiday mayhem Part II: The Christmas Edition.
Just when you thought my holidays couldn't get any weirder (for those of you just tuning in, on Thanksgiving I managed to accidentally show a video of my ex boyfriend jerking off to my entire family, on the big screen no less), more freaky shit ensues.
My brother Brian invited a bunch of his old friends from many years ago over to watch some videos they made back in the day. (This would be about 8 years ago, I think.) One such tape involved them sitting around the camera in a big circle, much like the basement scenes in That 70's Show where the camera pans from person to person while they're getting high.
Sure enough, everyone lit up in the video, and went from passing the longest joint I've ever seen to passing a gallon bucket of sherbert ice cream with a single spoon.
It seemed like a pretty normal night so far, until...
Without warning, my brother Brian whipped his dick out in the video and started jerking off/ slapping his dick around and laughing. Everyone watching the tape burst out laughing. Even my DAD was watching, and he thought it was hilarious. I...was beside myself. I was pretty much mortified/ wanting to throw up. Plus...his dick was abnormally large, which only made watching it that much worse.
Luckily, he later revealed in this video that the dick was fake. He yanked it completely out of his pants and threw it at the person sitting next to him. Not only was it a dick, but balls were attached as well, and a suction cup. At first I thought it was meant to be a hands-free dildo, but it was actually a lifelike model of a dick that Brian's doctor friend Eric took from the hospital he works at. Well, or so I was told.
That was a relief.
Everyone in the video then proceeded to suction cup the dick to their foreheads...some had more success than others.
Later that night after Brian's friends had vacated the premises, I shared my dissatisfaction with that portion of the video with him. He laughed and said, "I bet you were thinking that your brother was hung like a mule!"
To which I replied, "Well, that was my second thought. My first thought was, "Ewww, gross!" and my third thought was, "If I'd been born a guy, my dick would be GINORMOUS.""
Just when you thought my holidays couldn't get any weirder (for those of you just tuning in, on Thanksgiving I managed to accidentally show a video of my ex boyfriend jerking off to my entire family, on the big screen no less), more freaky shit ensues.
My brother Brian invited a bunch of his old friends from many years ago over to watch some videos they made back in the day. (This would be about 8 years ago, I think.) One such tape involved them sitting around the camera in a big circle, much like the basement scenes in That 70's Show where the camera pans from person to person while they're getting high.
Sure enough, everyone lit up in the video, and went from passing the longest joint I've ever seen to passing a gallon bucket of sherbert ice cream with a single spoon.
It seemed like a pretty normal night so far, until...
Without warning, my brother Brian whipped his dick out in the video and started jerking off/ slapping his dick around and laughing. Everyone watching the tape burst out laughing. Even my DAD was watching, and he thought it was hilarious. I...was beside myself. I was pretty much mortified/ wanting to throw up. Plus...his dick was abnormally large, which only made watching it that much worse.
Luckily, he later revealed in this video that the dick was fake. He yanked it completely out of his pants and threw it at the person sitting next to him. Not only was it a dick, but balls were attached as well, and a suction cup. At first I thought it was meant to be a hands-free dildo, but it was actually a lifelike model of a dick that Brian's doctor friend Eric took from the hospital he works at. Well, or so I was told.
That was a relief.
Everyone in the video then proceeded to suction cup the dick to their foreheads...some had more success than others.
Later that night after Brian's friends had vacated the premises, I shared my dissatisfaction with that portion of the video with him. He laughed and said, "I bet you were thinking that your brother was hung like a mule!"
To which I replied, "Well, that was my second thought. My first thought was, "Ewww, gross!" and my third thought was, "If I'd been born a guy, my dick would be GINORMOUS.""
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
sofakingaural:
Jay-SUS that was funny! I'm sorry to laugh at your holiday weirdness...but damn! I was having a rough day and I kinda needed a good laugh. Thanks 
9005900:
We had a funny story almost like yours but it involved my great aunt's dildo. She lost her husband about 6 years before then and she would need a little time with the dildo to keep sane. She was well in her late 50s or early 60s at the time. Anyway, a very young friend of my 2nd cousin (about age 8) found this long narrow biege dildo in her bedroom and brought it out while we were singing Christmas carols. She wanted to know if she could used it to hammer some push pins into the kitchen wall for her art work. Well, everyone stopped singing, and went silent for about 10 seconds, then everyone starting laughing, including Aunt Rita. And she didn't even blink or get embarrased. She simlpy took it from the girl and put it back in her room. Nothing more was said. At least not that evening!!! WE kept singing where we left off. Poor Aunt Rita died in 2003. 