emaline

((insert impeding doom here))

its going to happen tonight, i just know it.
toby and i are going to be over, no questions asked nothing to be saved.

i guess i'll just have to pick up my life were i left it before i came here, go back to siue, maybe find some sort of decent guy there to find me attractive and live happily ever after... that's how it goes.

i really have never been walking around campus and felt like i've had a boyfriend even when i'm with him i don't feel like i am, i don't know maybe i'm crazy, but i don't see how we are together, i want someone to make me happy, and i know toby can i really do, and he does but i don't feel like he even likes me, it all seems so fabricated to attempt to feel a certain way for me. god this sucks.
i've wasted two years of my life, well not wasted entirely but sort of i don't know things have never ever been right between us so they might as well fall apart that's really the only answer i suppose, its not like anything can change how two people are made up the souls that may join them. we are the two most alike people in the world but that's not even enough, i'm not exactly sure what is, or maybe i have some sort ideal fantasty world that no one will ever live up to.
and i'll just die very alone very miserable with my dog.
god something anything has to be better than this.