emaline

so apparently my best friend at home is irreconcilibly mad at me for not being a good friend to her...
and you see this is the entire basis for our friendship, so when she all of a sudden gets the idea we have a bad friendship, its true, that's how it is between us.
i go to school in the summer, she goes to school in the summer, we come home for break, hang out, go back to school, come home for break, hang out.
nothing in the middle, no emails of great courtesy or long talks on the phone, nothing this is what we do, and now she wants more and i can't provide that i don't especially enjoy talking to her for long amounts of time because she only talks about herself, i don't get a word in, when i talk about my life, she makes it seem insignifigant to her problems and makes me just want to die for having any problems that are similar to hers...
i'm happy with this friendship for some odd reason, i don't really have the greatest luck with befriending girls, i don't really enjoy their company much, they are all too needy and desperate generally for something.
i enjoy girls that are great, i don't know i haven't met too many of them so therefore i can't really describe them...
they are cute, but don't care about how they look, they are artsy but don't care that they're artsy, they just are who they are and exist in the world that they create and love to talk about it...
these are the girls i love, these are the girls i admire and think i am on my good days.
not "oh my boyfriend, oh my hair, oh i'm fat" god, it just drives me crazy.
my best friend really is pretty smart, she doesn't have to talk about these things, she knows foreign policy in russia, but no i get conversation about how no one likes her and how they make her feel like she's little and insignifigant, but doing so she makes me feel that way. guh.
i just want a decent friend, well not really.