elysia

"And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile at my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW! "



The current statistics are as follows -


Emails sat unread in my inbox - 95

Weight watchers points eaten by lunch time - 44.5

Weight watchers points I should eat daily - 25

Tickets for gigs purchased this year - 2

Number of gig tickets sold on ebay this year - 2

Nights out in the last eight months - 0

Times I've left the house this week unwittingly covered in baby biscuit - 2

Chances of getting on here more regularly - 20%

This weeks bra size - 38E

TImes booted from SGUK for being a comment retard - 2

People I'm avoiding on MSN - 2

Times I've tried to get my sister to realise that her boyfriend is a fat faced sponging cunt monkey - 20+

Current room temperature - 23.3 C

Proportion of my family I strongly dislike - 82%

Supportive people in my life - 0

TIme spent thinking about cigarettes today - 28 minutes

Sofa's in my house - 0

Root re-growth - 1.5cm

Proportion of my bed currently occupied/blocked by baby - 74%

Times I've checked for 666 on her scalp - 2

Current turnaround time for a reply to messages/emails - 6.2 months

Different types of cheese in the fridge - 6

Times retched at front cover of magazine feat the lead singer from the gossip naked - 1

Shit related false alarms pulled by the child today - 2

Months left until I can buy Season 6 of 24 - 5

Time spent wishing this were a proper update, and that I had more time to keep in touch with you all - 37 minutes



"We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our butt-cheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak"