elysia

"It's like posting a big parcel ... you just squidge it then shove it in"

That was one "experts" advice on breastfeeding.

I'm back! I've been stuck at home being all ill and stuff, surrounded by boxes and with no internet connection. Feck arse. This does of course mean that this entry is very much inspired by the insane ramblings of daytime TV. Apologies in advance.


Top five illness induced ramblings;

(1) Baby pictures
I've now had two scans and failed to share them with you. This seems very odd considering the fact that I'm quite willing to show them to strange old ladies on buses and the such like.

Everyone say hello to 'Rennie' (nicknamed after the indigestion tablets) at 13wks;

Rennie at 20wks;

For those of you who were wondering how far gone I am, this week is week 21. There are 2 easy ways to follow my pregnancy;
(a) It's the same week as the the week number of the year
(b) Britney Spears is due the day before me. Hell yeah.

(2) Fat documentary on Channel 5
Why do the makers of channel five think, even for a moment, that I would possibly want to hear a 48 stone woman talking about giving tit wanks to her much smaller husband?

(3) Season 4 of 24
I've finished it. All I have to say is ..... noooooooooooo. I hate the government, Palmer for President.
In addition;

(4) Deal or No Deal
No matter how much I watch it still no-one has uttered the phrase I've been waiting for. I am seriously considering applying to go be a 'box-keeper' or whatever the fuck they call them so that when they call my number I can turn to the camera and utter the words; "Yes Noel, let's all have a look at what's in my box"

(5) Geri Halliwells Baby
Yep she called her baby Bluebell Madonna. She chose the name bluebell because at the end of her pregnancy she kept seeing blubells. She chose Madonna because she likes the singer. Using the same principle to choose a name for my baby I have chosen;

What do you think?


This months 49 phone bill confirms my fears that my social life has died a death. In an attempt to revive it I'm off out tonight. I have a feeling that I'll be home by 8 but it's worth a go!

"She's not the smartest chop stick in the drawer"