elysia

If you'd taken the time to watch boob olympics you'd realise that there is a competitive element.

This trailer has been making me laugh today.


I'm bored of worrying about family and men and money and the such like so it can all just COCK RIGHT OFF. Shove all the problems up your unprotected anus then go fist fight a meerkat with a weight problem. I have depression anyway without this bag of shite making me feel worse *flicks V's at your mother*.



Top 5 .. ahem ... positive things of the week

(1) Being back in contact with my ex-fiancee. I don't like falling out with people and it's nice to talk to him. He is after all the one person in my life that knows me best. It just seems a shame to realise that we should have done this back in March instead of giving it another try and spending months hating each other. We are not meant to be anything other than friends. Not best friends though, he's still a cunt!

(2) My sister being pissed after a work night out on Thursday night. There are some hilarious photos which I'll add later but much funnier was the random shit she was spouting such as the following;

♥ *when telling me about her boss's moves on the dancefloor*
"Do your jazz hands you gay bastard"

♥ *when discussing some random girl that made the effort to talk to her*
"Who are you? Are you Donald Duck?"

♥ *when finally noticing that I was attempting to watch Back to the Future after originally mistaking it for Ferris Buellers Day Off*
"Marty, Marty ... It's Mr Future ... I can't quite remember their names"


(3) NEW TATTOO. It is quite simply beautiful and I am in love with my artist for doing such a great job. I am however really annoyed that the camera on my phone isn't working so I can't post pictures. Fuck dammit otter asshole. I really am uber pleased with it. It's a fitting tribute to one of the most important people in my life.

(4) Having now made firm plans to not celebrate Xmas day at all but spend the day drinking with friends. Bah fucking humbug to the religious fuckfest festival.

(5) This weekend is officially ALAN PARTRIDGE WEEKEND. It may shock you to know that my best mate has NEVER seen Partridge. I will now be changing this tomorrow night by forcing him and a few select others to watch Series One and Two. This will obviously be intermingled with Singstar 80's, pole dancing and black Absinthe. It's not a party. Honest.








See ... my mates hate Xmas as much as I do ... I'm also enjoying this blog dedicated to the wonder that is Xmas with such sentiments as the following;

"What I really like about xmas is the whole tree thing.
Not content with sending half a rain forest to people you hardly know through the post, you chop one down, stick it in the corner of your room, gay it up then watch it slowly die"

I'm considering running away from SG for a week to try and sort some shit out and get my head round some member related issues. You really want me ... send me a fucking email or some shit like that. It'll probably only last a day anyway! Plus ... they've put up the festive background. Oh dear.


"Bullshit ... you come in here and put your fishy fingers all over my Communion wafers"

I just can't get into that film at all .........


EDIT: What the fuck is going on with my profile pic appearing with my comments? Fuck dammit I really am going to have to update my profile pic now. Arse tit wank biscuit.


Today I will mostly be watching Richard Pryor DVDs.