elphie

I lied, you didn't get the birthday update the next day like I promised. What can I say I'm a lazy bum..

A LAZY LAZY BUM... AND THE RULER OR SPAM!!!!!! MWHAHAHA

*hiccups* Yes, well then... anyway, as I was saying.. the update... heh well now there's far more than a birthday so lets see if I can roll all this together:

December 31st: I was sick. (Booooo) Played poker with the parentals and one Ms. Hippo... I won a whole dollah! (That's a lot when you're playing with pennies man!) I watched myself some Edward Scissorhands... (Say it with me now people... MMMMMMM JOHNNY) and then I went to sleep on the couch... while Ms. Hippo slept in the big chair... we both agree my parent's house is FUCKING FREEZING!

January 1st: Woke up feeling even worse. Looked out the window, thought it was foggy, I was mistaken.. it was a big fat snow storm... at leats for Portland it was. 6-7 inches in town... that's a lot of white powder... and not the kind you sniff... well I suppose you could but it would be verra cold, and well yeah.. talk about the ultimate brain freeze.... but alas, I'm degressing...

I was grumpy as anything... it being my 21st, me being sick and snowed in. Ms. Hippo and I played a bit of Monopoly with my Mum... I lost terribly.. then we went out and made Merrick, the Voodo Snow Queen. We worshiped her for a bit, got down on our knees to bow before her, make a few children sacrfices.. you know, the norm. Then we went inside and got warm. The next hour is a blur cause I was napping... then we all partied for a bit with the old people... I got gifts fa la la.. Ms. H went home and I went to sleepy.

January 2nd: Woke up still feeling not too keen jelly bean... took a shower (STOP PICTURING ME NEKID!) then got dressed, got a hold of Grimmy and Ms. Hippo... got together to go out.. made an appointment to get my tattoo! (WHOO HOO!) and went to go get shit faced.

Okay so here's where it gets intresting.. bear with me, this is one large journal entry:

So yeah we go to Who Song and Larry's, the group of us, to eat before we hit the bars. I hadn't had a thing all day cept a triscut or two... I orderd my Steak Faitia and a margeruita... the drink came before the food.. and they wanted a picture of me taking the damn shot... so yeah tequila straight to the motha-fawkin head BOOM.. everything was verra purdy. I only mention this because I had to pee at one point and the waiter decided to tell me that the restrooms were in fact closed and I had to piss between the cars in the parking lot... I belived him... I'm just that fucking gulable... don't worry he told me the truth before it was too late.. i did in fact have the luxury of a toilet to piss in.

After insane embaressment with a foam cake on my head... (don't ask...) we ended up at the karoke joint...

THANK THE THE POWERS THAT BE FOR CRAZY BOYS WHO SING TO SILLY GIRLS LIKE ME!!!!

I got drunk enuogh to sing... (why oh why) the evil people who say they love me (And I believe them!) talked me into singing "Dammit Janet" with Robby... this wouldnt be hillariouse to anyone unless they knew I use to play Janet before I started crack and became director. So yeah... I did janet, Robby did Brad and Steff, Grimmy, and Ms. Hippo were the beautiful trannies... they even made little Janet Cards out of napkins....


WE KICKED ROCKY ASS!!!!

*takes a deep breath* Yes well then.. we're skipping Saturday because it was the day from hell. *POints to her infuriating rant on boys* Need I say more?

Lets take a small intermission here shall we

Ohhhhhhh watch the can can dancers arn't they purdy.... SHAKE YOUR BUM BABY!

Okay back to the show!

Now!!! Take your eyes off the can can girls... FOCUS!!!!

Okay... yesterday, January 4th: I fixed things to some extent with one of my guy problemees... things are still kinda off their hinges but we've both agreed we were dicks... thats impressive since I don't even have one.

Yeah, anyway, last night... went and saw "School of Rock" I liked it... it was cute and sweet and I got in for free... which is the very best price. Then Grimmy, Scott, Ms. Hippo and I made our chubby kid ways down to The Ambasador once again for karaoke.. met up with a few others... they all sang, ms. Hippo and I sat back and were bratty to one another (Rawr).

And this is how I'm going to end this piece o' garbage... because sweetie I love you...

"I AM THE LIZARD KING! I CAN DO ANYTHING! DO NOT LOOK INTO MY EYES!!!! DO NOT LOOK INTO MY EYES!!!"

Heh.. I'm gunna get beat for that one.
Toodles you crazy kids!