elphie

I've been kinda down lately, but I've been trying my damdest to hide it.

I think I'm tired of being alone, it's really starting to get to me ya know. I miss having someone's arms wrapped around my waist when I wake up in the morning... I miss getting random little notes or phones calls telling me how beautiful I am... I miss the smiles and the affection... and I miss the companionship.

Granted I didn't have any of this in my last realtionship... but that dosn't mean I haven't had it before... and it dosn't mean i don't miss it terribly.

I really want someone... a significant other... and I'd like for oncein my life for them to take care of me as much as I take care of them.. it dosn't have to be in the same ways.. and it dosn't have to be anything huge.. I'm all about the little things!

I mean.. I've got some great friends.. who are ALWAYS there for me and who I know I can count on but theres this invisable line that you can only cross with someone your intimate with... I think thats what I miss most... little things like my fingers brushing across 'his' and my stomach leaping just because I touched 'him'

I know this sound utterly pathetic... I'm a hopeless romantic at heart.. no matter how many dirty sandwich tales I give out.

I see all these relationships around me... and you know.. it isn't like i don't have options... I'm just picky... I decided my illness was called 'Blue Ribbon Envy' awhile back... because it seems like I've got a line of guys who want to be with me... but all of them would prefer someone else... I'm just second best.. no blue ribbon of 1st place for me... and the horrid thing is I hate the color blue!!!!!!!!

I'm being such a hypocryte right now... I'm constantly telling people not to be sad and down.. but here I am doing it myself... that's pretty damn lame of me. So I'm sorry to all of you people who I wag my finger at for pouting if you want to wag your finger at me thats fine.. just don't expect it to make me smile okay...