elora

Okay so no cryptic blogs tonight.. i just couldn't put it into words properly last night but i needed to vent somehow..

anyways all my is because last night i called it quits with my boyfriend of 5 years...

i still love him... but the past year or so has been sort of rough for me.. He has a drinking problem and it slowly has torn our relationship apart.

about 3 weeks ago we almost broke up, but we worked it out and promised to try harder on both sides.. but over the last few weeks i started to feel like any attempt that he made to "do something nice" for me (which usually consisted of him telling me he wasn't going to drink tonight) have felt half-assed.

I just feel as if our relationship has defaulted into this comfort zone. I know that i'm making the right decision but i feel horrible. I don't know what to do. We live together (along with 4 other people) and i really have nowhere else to go..

It didn't end horribly.. he actually cried and i started to feel really bad. He's not one to really show emotions.. and that took me for a loop. I figured he would be all tough guy and pretend like it wasn't bothering him.

So here i am now... single for the first time in 5 years... i have no idea what to do about our living situation.. our stuff..our pets... I don't know how to act around him.. i just over all... don't know what to do..