Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

ellspeth

Manchester, UK

Hopeful Since 2014

Followers 1452 Following 81

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Some good advice that you just can't take...

May 22, 2014
23
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email

Well, my first piece of advice, Alanis, would be to not write a another song about a concept you haven't googled.

I'm not really a great giver of advice because... well, who am I to be giving anyone advice? I'm an idiot! I snapped my tooth cartwheeling into a buffet table! But having said that, there are some pieces of advice that I've gleaned along the way that could do with a repeat because I've found them pretty useful.

NUMBER ONE. Don't criticize anything about someone that they can't correct in under five minutes. Simple, but effective. You shouldn't really be criticizing anyone, we all know that, but we're also all human. Just don't be a dick about it.

NUMBER TWO. Dress like you might get murdered that day. You'll always look amazing.

NUMBER THREE. If you have to scrimp on things, don't scrimp on toilet roll. Your bumhole will thank you. Also, I resisted making this one number two, I hope you're proud of me.

NUMBER FOUR. Don't keep score. This is more of a relationship one - what I'm saying is, if you want to make someone happy, just make them happy. If you start counting the times you did a nice thing against the times you think they did, things will go south really quickly. Also you'll get into a lot of arguments about washing up or cleaning the bathroom, and you'll feel stupid being so passionate about Domestos.

NUMBER FIVE. Don't buy something just because it's on sale. I learned this the hard way. I've just thrown away/donated 9 sackfuls of clothes I bought because they were cheaper and "I'll definitely wear that one day". Who was I kidding. A floor length bright pink chiffon skirt? REALLY?

NUMBER SIX. Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

What was she doing with ten thousand spoons anyway?

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
padre:
Yes, I learned that years ago about alanis's song. Still a nice though. For me at least. Good advice, I love the one on criticism and counting. I must live by those. I'd be less of a asshole. 
May 22, 2014
fhmace:
All Those advices sound pretty good for me!
I like the #2 that I should follow more often cause it's true that I don't care a lot about the way I dress some days! And also cause it made me laugh! :)
May 22, 2014

More Blogs

  • 10.29.14
    9

    my life right now!

    It's a pretty exciting time for me right now... but painfully …
  • 06.01.14
    2

    idle hands

    hey! Idle Hands has been in member review for a little while now...…
  • 05.22.14
    6

    Some good advice that you just can't take...

    Well, my first piece of advice, Alanis, would be to not write a…
  • 05.15.14
    8

    SG Homework - PETS!

    I know I'm a little late but I've only just seen the topic and…
  • 04.30.14
    8

    But how many nipples do YOU have?

    I hate to be a disappointment. I really don't want to let you down…
  • 04.30.14
    7

    you guys are incredible!

    i can't quite believe the response my set IDLE HANDS has got so far…
  • 04.27.14
    12

    My job is in Funeralcare...

    and I know (from experience, in bars, which is a bit of a buzz kill…
  • 04.26.14
    3

    POW!

    It's here! It's here! I'm so giddy it's embarrassing but my set is …
  • 04.25.14
    2

    OH YOU GUYS!

    im so friggin' excited you guys. my set by the unparallelled @gemma…
  • 04.11.14
    6

    What a month!

    I've been having a great April so far and it's only going…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
0
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,596 SuicideGirls
  • 1,119,978 followers
  • 14,934,393 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,427,284 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo