ellie_____

i've become unstuck in time. working retail puts my weekends on tues & wed. i'm up late while everyone else is off to bed with work in the morning. it's all very odd. makes for little social life and fewer chances of building one. hmmmmm... maybe i need to start something? really i have no idea.

i enjoy getting lost 3 blocks from home, never knowing exactly where i am or who i'm going to meet. it's all new. and man, i needed a change. i had worn thru saint louis. done all i could there. tried everything i could there. and i needed to move on.

i do miss having friends around. even though we seldom were able to hang out. that was really nice. i hope that you'll drop me notes from time to time and let me know how things are going. i regret not having more time to see you and chat before leaving.

as for me, honestly, many nights here i've wondered what on earth i've done with my life. in the quiet, alone, with family and friends thousands of miles away, i wonder if i've made many wrong turns in my life to get here. but, i can only trust that taking these chances, by getting behind things that i believe in my whole life, some good has to come out of it. surely, i've earned some future happiness for all this mess. of course, there are no guarantees of this. it's really only hope. but sometimes, that's all you've got to go on.