ok, new post.
shit went sour with my ex fiancee and I am now in a world of water. I know that people can't make people happy, except for the little bit of time you spend with a loved one, or even a one night stand.
The other day I went home to Pendleton and felt ballsy enough to introduce myself to a gentleman. He is single, but from utah. he may or may not be coming back into town tomorrow, I really want him to because I fell head over heals for him, but haven't heard yet. My heart hurts so much. How do people live? I know people are unhappy, but what I've been dealing with the last few years I think I deserve a little happiness. There, I just broke down crying. Why is it so hard for me when all I want is to be happy and have a child and live like real people do? I know I am unconventional, but FUCK. I don't know how much longer I can take this for. Deep depression makes me want to drink bleach.
So, I love you all and appreciate you possibly reading my occasional ranting and sadness and commenting on what I have to say.
Don't know what I am up for these days, but hopefully can put some strings together and make them sing.
shit went sour with my ex fiancee and I am now in a world of water. I know that people can't make people happy, except for the little bit of time you spend with a loved one, or even a one night stand.
The other day I went home to Pendleton and felt ballsy enough to introduce myself to a gentleman. He is single, but from utah. he may or may not be coming back into town tomorrow, I really want him to because I fell head over heals for him, but haven't heard yet. My heart hurts so much. How do people live? I know people are unhappy, but what I've been dealing with the last few years I think I deserve a little happiness. There, I just broke down crying. Why is it so hard for me when all I want is to be happy and have a child and live like real people do? I know I am unconventional, but FUCK. I don't know how much longer I can take this for. Deep depression makes me want to drink bleach.
So, I love you all and appreciate you possibly reading my occasional ranting and sadness and commenting on what I have to say.
Don't know what I am up for these days, but hopefully can put some strings together and make them sing.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
No, not my hand. Baby puggle on zooborns. Actually, wasting some time on zooborns would probably be good for you right about now.
Yeah, it would be nice to meet up. Cybele has been quite hermity lately, but maybe we could get her out for a bit.
Keep us posted if you remain in the area.
Just my two cents, but I'd recommend avoiding the dating scene for a while. Being in such an emotionally vulnerable state can lead a person to make some potentially self-destructive choices. (Speaking from experience.)
Keeping you in my thoughts, and sending positive vibes your way.
Hang in there!