elleseven

Oh, I don't know. Life alone is just too hard. Winter is too hard, and cold. I just heard that one of my favorite places is to be torn down in a month. Its the Virginia Cafe. Its where some friends of mine work, and my lips are in a frame on the wall, and lots of things like that. That is simply one more blow to my love hate relationship with portland.

beep beep beep!
i just got a call on my cellphone that is slowly breaking from my crazy roommate. Earth shattering news! Her two most recent exes hung out! OMG!!!!! She is driving herself crazy trying to figure out what they may have said. As always, I am going crazy with her. She has been on vacation for a week, so I have been staying clear as much as possible. I hate hanging out with her because every fucking thing is all about her and somehow tied to her tarot read from the night before and her charts and her horoscope and, well, what else is there?

In other news, sadly I am single again. And I say sadly in the truest sense. Monovox and I have been off and on for almost a year just sort of feeling things out, blah blah blah. He is a fantastic man. Our relationship was doomed from the beginning due to each of our wants and needs. It is tragic, and as I sit here at his house typing this I feel sad, but not with regret. He is one of my closest friends, and it is really hard to transition to a different type of relationship.

Here is a tidbit of how well this man treats me:

One night last week I went out to momos to meet abra for a drink. I got there before she did, and this boy that I really really had a crush on was there and we played pool. abra came and we chatted and she had to leave a bit early, but i stayed, only to be dragged around and treated like a princess by this boy who i like, then get ditched across town. he got freaked out and his bitch friend pulled him away and put him in a cab. In turn i get a cab home and receive text messages of regret from this boy, appologies, etc...

the next day i was feeling like i wanted to be dead. i took a xanax at work, and left a bit early and just sort of wandered around downtown. i didn't know what to do with myself. i threw my heart out, and it was pounced on. This is a theme in my life. I think i just have bad taste.

but monovox, oh monovox. he picked me up at the flower shop i had wandered into and took me to target so i could get some retail therapy. then we went to hooters! neither of us had been, and it was gross and kids were there and it was everything i had ever dreamed of, only a bit less classy. then we went to the kennedy school, the antithesis of hooters. This boy really takes care of me, and it is tragic that we cant be together. now he is making frog noises and i need to go to eat some breakfast.

goodbye for now,
elle