ellebelle

Update: he didn't get to Columbia until 11:30pm. By then the tipout to work was almost $80. I wasn't risking it. I was so pissed already then the girl with me was mad, so that agitated me even more. I offered to pay her tipout so she could work and I would just chill and wait until she was done. She got a attitude and got in the car and turned the music up.

Then comes him pulling up in his brand new minivan with his new family in it and I went from feeling pissed to anger. If that makes any sense I was just emotional. I just want to go to fucking bed and stay there all weekend. But now I'm in Florence SC and I still have 1 hour and 15mins to go.

The girl I'm with stopped here to say hi to her best friend. She asked to stay so we could go out, but I don't have it in me. I told her I wanted to go home. I don't know if she is mad or not but oh well. This wasn't my fucking fault. He said there was traffic, that's why he took so long.

I am SOOOOO tempted to make him wait like I did on Sunday when I go back to pick her up. I guess I will meditate on it and try to take the high road. I don't know if I have it in me. I know I do, but it isn't always easy to be the better person.

I will try to ask for insurance, I'm kinda apprehensive about getting what I want in the divorce. I read these forums with men whining about how they got screwed and have to pay so much money to their ex wives. I feel that I would get that if I had a superstar Cochran type lawyer. I can't afford that lol. If I get a good lumpsum for temporary alimony, I'll go get another lawyer- I don't really like the one I have now.

I like my therapist, but all she does is have me talk for the hour. Isn't she supposed to be helping me out? Telling me what I need to do or try to figure out why I am doing the things I doing??

She's basically a shoulder to cry on. I don't cry there of course, but it is more like a friend or family member convo than patient/professional relationship.

I may have to find another one. I'd just hate going thru that interview stuff again! I'd better get my xanax or something in the next month or two, if not- I'm outta there!

Oh yeah you had asked me about painting. Lady, I hate to paint! I would buy one of those spray type paint things that spray the paint onto the walls! Fuck all that arm up and down stuff- that shit always takes toooo long. Especially with the primer crap. It does look good when it is done though, I hope you fix it up and get it done soon. I'd faster pay someone to do it rather than do it myself.