Well- I did not sleep a wink last night. *sigh* Even on 600 MGs of eroquil. My shrink told Sean to up my meds to 800 mgs tongiht. The top of the line dosage that most people on a general basis would take if they were FULL ON BLOW OUT manic is sigh*400* along with other stuff like Colonopin n just. Never been on any of this shit and its kicking my ass.
It beats Hald0l or Risperd0l and damn day. Even if it does make me look and act pregnant.(harmonal) @ least when I do get a booty call- I'm able to respong to touch and stimuli, unlike on Risperdol or Hald0l. I just seriously HATE taking anti psychotics- they really fuck with me and have meny side effects. I can hang with my Effexxor because its just an anti anxiety medication and an anti depressent. The reason I like taking the Effexor is because it makes me EXTREMELT passive. I'm not a passive person by nature and enviromental factors. I'm an up in you face give me whar I muther fucking asked for you stupid mother f*er. In my early and late teens I faught alot- physically. Everyone thought I woud end up in a ditch somewhere because I got into fights everywhere I went. Mainly with men who were asswads. My friends thought it was hilarious. Looking back in retrospect- it really was not a good scene to carry so much rage n anger around with me. I don't gamble anymore either. I use to make bets with the dudes I was going to hurt or there friends that it would be there friend hitting the ground before they even got a chance to get a punch or a kick in. I usually wom the bet 9 outa ten times and never lost a fight after the age of 15/16. WELL- i have sparred black and red belts in compition and won the gold but not because I won- just because I had the balls to do it and the fact that there was no -one in my belt division that liked to spar or was ready to spare. Most people start sparing around green or blue. I started at yellow- I want to get back into it- I think Sean still pays the bill on the Dojang each month. No not DOJO- it's a Korean place we learn at. Maybe we are not members there any longer we haven't gone in a couple months or so. Too bad too beause martial arts is one of my one true joys. *the disapile n hard work- not the fighting* I'm past that now. I don't get violent usually. Its easy not to get violent when you live in a functional home. Even with my fucked up Bi-Polar disorder, my ex keeps thiings moving in a good direction. My friend Rose is always telling me to let it flow and this episode witll be over.
Please for the love af God let it end!
Serinity NOW!
and?or
Goosefrabba
and/or
Calgon take me away!
I was getting aggitated with my kids the other day because I was dragging them from store to store to find some shoes they could wear and not wear out for awhile. N they were getting so irritationg- not choosing n being all fussy. The third store I went to the guy finally sympothysed with me. He was like- tough day?
My responce to him was "YEAH I'm ready to fill the bathrub up to the rim!"
His respnce, "Don't forget the candles" and he's all smiling.
My responce in turn was, "No- not to take a nice relaxing bath you dummy- to drown the kids. Double Doyee" Oh my gosh he turned three shades of red.
As if- I'm so totally sure if I was really gonna drown my children I'd announce it to some dood in his late 20's that still works at a shoe store in the mall. ROFLMAO
Apparently dark humor doesn't have its place in very many places. I however am very dark in my humor- shit Scottie would say I'm the darkest coal of the deepest darkest cavern. However- I know he's projecting. Cuz um... the real freak would be him. LOL I'm glad my friends like Stacy have a sick since of humor because it gets on my mother fucking nerves when it bends people the wrong way.
My last WACK JOB for a shrink told me NEVER to say inappropriate things about my children and for that matter any one elses children. FUCK YOU DOOD- at least I like children ALOT. I mnea I've bween a volunteer at an Elementary shcool for over a decade, teaching everything from Art Lit 60-70 hours a year. To fundraising and such for at least 120 hours a year. So kiss my ass if you think I'm the nutcase because I say f8ed up shit. I do have full controll over my whole frontal loobe of my cranium. I'm not a fucking Psychopath n shit. I only take Anti Psychotics to keep me sedated if Im all manic. It's like a mind glue but I would never hurt my babies or any one elses babies. The only real people I would consider hurting are people that without a doubt really did hurt children. I could sleep like a baby at night knowing there were less abusers, pediphiles, and any other type of preditors out there that prey on young children.
Our governement needs more stengent laws against people who fuck with our youths. America as well as all countries # 1 assetts are their children the furure leaders of our countries.
I feel that if a person is caught and convicted of hurting a child before the crutial years are over- say they hurt a child in any way shape or form while the child is in infancy- harsh harsh punishment. Hurt the child say as a toddler to a 7 year old- MAJOR INFRACTION and major, major PUNISHMENT- let the crime fit the time or the death of said preditor,.
7-15 16 and 17 year olds. MAJOR punishment. If any of the abusers are found to have said violated said minor in a sexual way. -DEATH. If it is proven beyong a reasonable doubt that some perv fucked a kid - DEATH. Boyfriends of said 16, 17 and 18 year olds are not in this scenario. Conscenting teens- whatever- big whoop. I honestly believe that is were our attention as a country should be focusing on. That an the elderly.
#1 take care of the youth of America- protct children with strictor punishments for preditors and pedipohiles. Get abusive parents HELP.
#2 Our Elderly. get this SS shit fixed get our folks some help~ people. Eating puppy chow for dinner is demeaning. We need to have RESPECT for our Elders- they are what made this country what it is today.
#3 Environment Issues???? Um hello- Earth can not sustain this shit people!
#4 Hey Bush can we consentrate on pulling out of Iraq and maybe stop shielding the real issues at hand with the fact that homo's want to start settling down. You fucking hate monguer BIGGET. You honestly are up there with Hitler you full-on freakazoid. Hi hail BUSH *hand out in the Nazi style slightly raised and saying Hail BUSH in my loud voice*
N to think the reason I didn't vote for you was your stance on environmental Issues. Oh there was that other small thing- no not just the republican thing----oh yeah I remember...your family are a buncha dueche bags. Meaning- they must aised you in a whole family and friends network of duetche bags. *sad face* I'd pray for you but I have a feeling your re-incarnation issues and karmic debts are WAY WAY OUTTA MY control. I can pray that you snap out of your
Crippled way of thinking. FUCK MAN- I'm legitamently a toal nutcase and I feel wholeheartedly I could run the country better than you. Oops my mistake- puppet boy. I think I could run the country better than your "ADVISORS"
Oh shall we re-direct back to the homo's Georgie? Seems to be on your mind alot. You total closet case. Leave the gays n Lesbians out of you campaign wopuld ya sweet-ums? Or did I forget that we are living in a FREE country. Is there no thiknking like that permissable in America anymore? FUCK YOU DUETCHE BAG. Keep you thoughts n Morals off MY BODY. Keep your thoughts n your "VALUES" at home. Fuck your own kids up into thinking that Homosexuals are second rate citizens. You full on fucking facist pig- DICTATOR muther fucker.
For god's sake- you war monguer- fix you fucked up mess. Oh n don't forget to use your own "personal" company to
clean it all up. Put those dollars in your pocket you rechid, rechid man!
How do you sleep at night- Seriously?
Ramble ramble. But people----remember...I'm the crazy one.
*shrugs*
I can not re-iderate enough how much disdain I feel for Bush.
it's an infinate amount
later homies~
IMPEACH BUSH!
It beats Hald0l or Risperd0l and damn day. Even if it does make me look and act pregnant.(harmonal) @ least when I do get a booty call- I'm able to respong to touch and stimuli, unlike on Risperdol or Hald0l. I just seriously HATE taking anti psychotics- they really fuck with me and have meny side effects. I can hang with my Effexxor because its just an anti anxiety medication and an anti depressent. The reason I like taking the Effexor is because it makes me EXTREMELT passive. I'm not a passive person by nature and enviromental factors. I'm an up in you face give me whar I muther fucking asked for you stupid mother f*er. In my early and late teens I faught alot- physically. Everyone thought I woud end up in a ditch somewhere because I got into fights everywhere I went. Mainly with men who were asswads. My friends thought it was hilarious. Looking back in retrospect- it really was not a good scene to carry so much rage n anger around with me. I don't gamble anymore either. I use to make bets with the dudes I was going to hurt or there friends that it would be there friend hitting the ground before they even got a chance to get a punch or a kick in. I usually wom the bet 9 outa ten times and never lost a fight after the age of 15/16. WELL- i have sparred black and red belts in compition and won the gold but not because I won- just because I had the balls to do it and the fact that there was no -one in my belt division that liked to spar or was ready to spare. Most people start sparing around green or blue. I started at yellow- I want to get back into it- I think Sean still pays the bill on the Dojang each month. No not DOJO- it's a Korean place we learn at. Maybe we are not members there any longer we haven't gone in a couple months or so. Too bad too beause martial arts is one of my one true joys. *the disapile n hard work- not the fighting* I'm past that now. I don't get violent usually. Its easy not to get violent when you live in a functional home. Even with my fucked up Bi-Polar disorder, my ex keeps thiings moving in a good direction. My friend Rose is always telling me to let it flow and this episode witll be over.
Please for the love af God let it end!
Serinity NOW!
and?or
Goosefrabba
and/or
Calgon take me away!
I was getting aggitated with my kids the other day because I was dragging them from store to store to find some shoes they could wear and not wear out for awhile. N they were getting so irritationg- not choosing n being all fussy. The third store I went to the guy finally sympothysed with me. He was like- tough day?
My responce to him was "YEAH I'm ready to fill the bathrub up to the rim!"
His respnce, "Don't forget the candles" and he's all smiling.
My responce in turn was, "No- not to take a nice relaxing bath you dummy- to drown the kids. Double Doyee" Oh my gosh he turned three shades of red.
As if- I'm so totally sure if I was really gonna drown my children I'd announce it to some dood in his late 20's that still works at a shoe store in the mall. ROFLMAO
Apparently dark humor doesn't have its place in very many places. I however am very dark in my humor- shit Scottie would say I'm the darkest coal of the deepest darkest cavern. However- I know he's projecting. Cuz um... the real freak would be him. LOL I'm glad my friends like Stacy have a sick since of humor because it gets on my mother fucking nerves when it bends people the wrong way.
My last WACK JOB for a shrink told me NEVER to say inappropriate things about my children and for that matter any one elses children. FUCK YOU DOOD- at least I like children ALOT. I mnea I've bween a volunteer at an Elementary shcool for over a decade, teaching everything from Art Lit 60-70 hours a year. To fundraising and such for at least 120 hours a year. So kiss my ass if you think I'm the nutcase because I say f8ed up shit. I do have full controll over my whole frontal loobe of my cranium. I'm not a fucking Psychopath n shit. I only take Anti Psychotics to keep me sedated if Im all manic. It's like a mind glue but I would never hurt my babies or any one elses babies. The only real people I would consider hurting are people that without a doubt really did hurt children. I could sleep like a baby at night knowing there were less abusers, pediphiles, and any other type of preditors out there that prey on young children.
Our governement needs more stengent laws against people who fuck with our youths. America as well as all countries # 1 assetts are their children the furure leaders of our countries.
I feel that if a person is caught and convicted of hurting a child before the crutial years are over- say they hurt a child in any way shape or form while the child is in infancy- harsh harsh punishment. Hurt the child say as a toddler to a 7 year old- MAJOR INFRACTION and major, major PUNISHMENT- let the crime fit the time or the death of said preditor,.
7-15 16 and 17 year olds. MAJOR punishment. If any of the abusers are found to have said violated said minor in a sexual way. -DEATH. If it is proven beyong a reasonable doubt that some perv fucked a kid - DEATH. Boyfriends of said 16, 17 and 18 year olds are not in this scenario. Conscenting teens- whatever- big whoop. I honestly believe that is were our attention as a country should be focusing on. That an the elderly.
#1 take care of the youth of America- protct children with strictor punishments for preditors and pedipohiles. Get abusive parents HELP.
#2 Our Elderly. get this SS shit fixed get our folks some help~ people. Eating puppy chow for dinner is demeaning. We need to have RESPECT for our Elders- they are what made this country what it is today.
#3 Environment Issues???? Um hello- Earth can not sustain this shit people!
#4 Hey Bush can we consentrate on pulling out of Iraq and maybe stop shielding the real issues at hand with the fact that homo's want to start settling down. You fucking hate monguer BIGGET. You honestly are up there with Hitler you full-on freakazoid. Hi hail BUSH *hand out in the Nazi style slightly raised and saying Hail BUSH in my loud voice*
N to think the reason I didn't vote for you was your stance on environmental Issues. Oh there was that other small thing- no not just the republican thing----oh yeah I remember...your family are a buncha dueche bags. Meaning- they must aised you in a whole family and friends network of duetche bags. *sad face* I'd pray for you but I have a feeling your re-incarnation issues and karmic debts are WAY WAY OUTTA MY control. I can pray that you snap out of your
Crippled way of thinking. FUCK MAN- I'm legitamently a toal nutcase and I feel wholeheartedly I could run the country better than you. Oops my mistake- puppet boy. I think I could run the country better than your "ADVISORS"
Oh shall we re-direct back to the homo's Georgie? Seems to be on your mind alot. You total closet case. Leave the gays n Lesbians out of you campaign wopuld ya sweet-ums? Or did I forget that we are living in a FREE country. Is there no thiknking like that permissable in America anymore? FUCK YOU DUETCHE BAG. Keep you thoughts n Morals off MY BODY. Keep your thoughts n your "VALUES" at home. Fuck your own kids up into thinking that Homosexuals are second rate citizens. You full on fucking facist pig- DICTATOR muther fucker.
For god's sake- you war monguer- fix you fucked up mess. Oh n don't forget to use your own "personal" company to
clean it all up. Put those dollars in your pocket you rechid, rechid man!
How do you sleep at night- Seriously?
Ramble ramble. But people----remember...I'm the crazy one.
*shrugs*
I can not re-iderate enough how much disdain I feel for Bush.
it's an infinate amount
later homies~
IMPEACH BUSH!
Anyway, after reading your comment, I assumed you had consumed a lot of coffee sometime earlier. Now that I've read your journal and profile, I'm guessing you are like this all of the time and twice on Sunday. I think I can see where it might take something extra to get you down for sleeping. I feel exhausted just reading you. And it's obvious you can rage like it's no one's business.
Yeah, I get the dreaded 'you must log in' message thingy on SG once in a while in the middle of something, but not lately. Never saw Ghost World. I don't think I've heard Holiday in Spain. But I don't have their last cd if that's what it is from. Anna Nalick does Breathe. Really well-written song and her voice gives it such a great delivery. I've heard it on KINK many times and probably 105, too. I can usually appreciate really good songwriting, so yeah, I like Duncan Sheik. My tastes are fairly broad, but it's usually certain artists who grab me. Speaking of which, check out Jennifer Terran. Bill Ricchini is another I like (Close the Door and Angela, especially), in the vein of Elliott Smith.
My parents have a couple of old wine barrels for decorating their yard and get tadpoles every year. But theirs all seem to grow up to be tree frogs.
Have a great holiday weekend.
I wish I had AJ's lips myself. Hers are a very sexy shape not to mention that 'crevice'in the middle of the bottom lip that is super rare I've heard.
I can't tell you how many times I've been put on meds but they never seem to work because I always forget to take them. thankfully for some reason I don't get as depressed as much as I used to.
I think I need some anxiety pills because I am afraid to go places by myself. I recently moved to a new city, I haven't been to the movies, to the mall
Only place is to the supermarket and thats only early in the morning or late at night when there aren;t that much people. This is very strange. I think I'm going to need a shrink myself.
crap I'm gonna stop now