OK, So this is a super Old Blog Homework, and I may have done it previously, but there's something that's happened to me recently that I am super proud of and I wanted to share my story with you guys...
Back In 2014/15 I started modelling, at first it was great, I met lots of amazing like minded people - photographers, Models, Studio owners etc. I gained lots of experience, lots of friends, lots of fans.. a bit of money ;)
Even though I suffered quiet badly with my mental health, and my physical health I pushed through it all, continued with my modelling and got to where I am now.. I had a few fall outs with fellow models, with fellow SG lovers... it was an upsetting time for me, I dont like arguing with people, I dont like feeling 'push out' but I was, I was deleted from a whatsapp group I was in, I was told id never become an official SG, I was told I pretty much sucked at modelling, and this made me feel like shit. Mostly because what she said was pretty true. Over the years, Ive come to realise I dont have what it takes to be certain things, I debut I will ever be an official SG, And you know what I AM OK WITH THAT! I still enjoy being on the site, I still enjoy being apart of the community, I still enjoy creating and uploading content for the site, if a SG decided to make me official it would be the icing on the cake.. .
Anyway, I started to move away from modelling, It was killing me mental wise, I felt shit daily; If my content didn't sell, Id get myself into a hole, of : people dont like me, I'm not worth anything, people think I'm ugly/fat etc and it was healthy for me at all. I started going towards photography, I enjoyed making other people look fantastic, It was nicer to feel id made someone else look great, than making myself feel great. I loved editing other people and creating art where I didn't second guess myself...
In 2016/17 I started uploading to my YouTube channel, I played games, Which i wasn't very good at, but I believed this was what people wanted to see, and its what 'YouTube' was all about. I soon got annoyed and bored, that people weren't enjoying the videos. so I stopped making them. I hated myself. I didn't want to model anymore, I didn't want to make videos, I just felt fat and useless..
I'm rambling I know but the point of the story is coming... promise...
I took time away from everything, I removed myself from whatsapp groups I was in, Removed myself from FB groups, stopped replying to models/photographers and friends. I just needed time to myself, to find out what I wanted to do with my life.
At the end of 2017, I finally decided that I was enjoying making YouTube videos more than modelling, So I wrote on my Instagram that I was stepping away from modelling and concentrating more on YouTube. And I am totally glad I did.
I now make Clothing/Lingerie Review videos for various companies, I review sex toys, I have monthly subscription boxes that I unbox and Review and Its going great. I've been getting weekly emails, from various companies wanting to work with me, I've been getting some amazing comments and feedback from subscribers and viewers. Its something that I enjoy doing, and I dont have the pressure of 'I wont get paid today' like I did when making porn or doing modelling. Today 29/06/18 I received an email after almost a year of making content, from YouTube saying 'Congratulations -- your YouTube channel, ElizabethHunny xox, has been accepted into the YouTube Partner Program and is now able to monetize on YouTube!'
This basically means that now, My videos will generate cash. Not a lot. But its something. Im not exactly bothered about making money on YouTube, but its more the fact that I have finally been noticed, I have finally done something right in my life! I finally feel like this is where I belong.
I currently have 6,155 Subscribers, My most watched video has over 100,000 views and I couldn't be happier with how everything is going!
So after all my rambling ;) The end to the story is, Dont do something because you feel you have to, do something that you love and everything else will fall into place! It did for me and It can for you too..
@rambo @missy
