Ok, So I wasn't going to bother with this Homework because I knew Id rant and rave, Id waffle on about random crap and you'd all loose interest, Haha.. But ive been thinking about it and I've thought bugger it ill chat about random shit anyway's :D
When I was younger, 14/15, I Was kicked out of home, there was a lot of problems at home, me & my parents didn't see eye to eye, I was A bratty teenager, going through the start of depression and anxiety. I was bullied at school, I didn't have people to turn to when I was sad or had a problem so i took it out on everyone who loved me, As you do. I sofa surfed for awhile going to various family members homes, of course I knew I couldn't stay forever, but when I was told to leave I took it out on the ones that Had helped, I went into a massive rage, I started doing all the stuff you shouldn't do! I was seeing older people, one particular guy in general, who my parents had warned me about, but obviously I didn't listen. Things just went from bad to worst really. I was failing at school when I had previously done really well, I hated everything & everyone. I moved in my my Mum's childhood friend, she was great, she got me to straighten up, she got me up to go to college and I even found myself a guy :P Everything was going great, until the dreaded 'I'm sorry You cant stay here any more' came along.. Again I went off the rails at here, shed said it was because I was upsetting her smaller children, and they wanted their own rooms back (she was living in a 3 bed house & had two little boys) I of course seen this as a stupid excuse as it seemed to me that the kids loves me being there; I helped around the house, I was nice and polite we never argued ect.. Turns out she was a total bitch, to which my mother & herself had a rather large argument and haven't spoken or seen each other since!
I was then moved into a hostel, which was horrible! I was in the middle of no-where, With no-one I knew around. It was hard for my boyfriend to see me, and when he did we had no privacy as he wasn't allowed upstairs -.- Which of course caused arguments between us both. At the start the people I lived with were crazy, they were all loud, drank constantly, smoked constantly, shagged constantly & I was in Hell! I kept to myself, I literally never left my room, unless I needed to use the bathroom & even then I waited until everyone was out or asleep! I lost a lot of weight, Id been around 13/14 stone and I dropped to about 9 stone! Although great because Id always been bullied about my weight, It wasn't healthy and I lost all of it within a matter of months due to not eating at all! I was weak, I was Ill.
Id had enough of being in the hostel & I finally asked the council to help me out, I was given A flat a million miles away from everything and I couldn't be happier. Life was getting better, I was slowly getting back on my feet, I was back with my boyfriend. He still lived with his family a bus ride away, but he was practically with my everyday and night! We then found out we were having a baby, and I couldn't of been happier, If it wasn't for him I would have gone crazy and I would have done something very stupid.. Unfortunately during the pregnancy we went our separate ways. We still talked for awhile but then I soon realised he was a boy not a man, and I wasn't ever going to get a father out of him (3 years on and he's seen his daughter twice) In 2013 I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl :D I had a new partner who was great, He and my mum were at the birth (my relationship with my parents had got better since leaving home) He was there for me and the baby, day & night even though she wasn't his, he still took on all responsibilities as a father... Or so I thought! I was stupid and in love and hadn't released he was taking me for a ride! Id paid for anything and everything he wanted, Parts for his cars, motorbikes, tattoo kits, meals out ect ect! We were both jobless (I was stay at home mum) He was in and out of agency work, which was a pain in the ass. He then got caught by the police speeding and had his car taken off him, (he'd got previous point for speeding) We couldn't afford court fee's or to buy the car back. being stuck in the middle of no-where away from my parents with a newborn baby was a nightmare, Id felt so alone, he was always out with friends enjoying himself, he'd still got his motorbike so it was ok for him, he was able to enjoy himself whenever he wanted & left us at home.
By the mid of 2013 Id had enough, I loved him but I couldn't cope anymore with his childish behaviour & him taking me for a mug! We split up and he left to live with his mum. We continued to see each other on occasions because we missed each other, to which I thought we'd get back together but turns out he was sleeping with every tom, dick and harry I knew including my best friend!
From then one I never turned to anyone to help, people had constantly 'helped' and back stabbed me! I'm now happy with my new boyfriend (3 years this November) I have two beautiful girls, who are happy and healthy! The only person who has truly helped me is myself! I know that sounds so big headed, but if It wasn't for me getting through all the shit I wouldn't be here today, I wouldn't have my girls! I needed to see the wrong I was doing, whether it was being a bitch to my parents, to being an idiot with twat written on my forehead! Im not great with words but what i'm trying to say is
'IF YOU CANT LOVE YOURSELF HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE' 'RuPaul
'If you cant help yourself, No-one can'
