This weeks blog homework again is a Hard one to just chose one thing..
As a mother, Id wished Id learnt sooner that life is fucking hard work! Obviously I know its not all rainbows and butterflies, but fuck man! There's times I want to curl under the bed and be forgotten, recently my youngest daughter has been really Ill and for some reason all she wants is her Mummy, Now of course I love her and I cuddle her till shes better, but Id love to pee in peace, Lol! I cant leave the room without her crying and it kills me every time, I try to go to modelling shoots and she sobs for me as I walk out the door :'( She used to be a daddies girl but now its all mummy and I cant get two seconds to myself! Which makes it harder for me to play with my eldest whos also dying for my attention -.-
Ive been trying my best to make a good future for my kids, I didn't have the best of upbringing, my dad wasn't well with his Back among other problems so was out of work for most my childhood, my mother had myself and my two elder siblings to look after plus my dad to look out for, so it was hard for her to work. When I was 13 she had another baby, so again she was out of work, I was in and out of different family homes, due to the arguments with my parents over silly things! I was bullied at school for various reasons (which is a whole different story) A few years after my sister was born my mother got pregnant again and unfortunately he was stillborn, He was 6 yesterday :) (8-04-10) So this ripped my family emotionally apart, yet brought us back together! A few years after that my mum had her rainbow baby :) Hes now a healthy rather annoying (almost) 5 year old :P
I want to be able to show my kids, life is fucking hard but it has to be done! There's no point sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, slobbing about in your pjs day after day (yes I am writing this in my pjs but its my day off) Get up, Get out and make something of life! It is too short and too precious to waste away! I wished I learnt sooner that My god damn parents were right about pretty much everything :P
On a lighter note I wished Id learn to drive sooner, I'm still currently doing my lessons. It would have made life that little bit easier if I had started when I turned 17 instead of waiting until I was 22! But living on my own at a young age with a baby at 19 I didn't really have the time or money to do it back then! I could of been able to go to so many different Modelling jobs that ive had to turn down because I haven't been able to travel :( Id also be able to take the kids out more places without the horror of public transport!
I wish Id learnt sooner that my ex's were to be my ex's, Haha! Could of saved myself lots of time and lots of money :P And now ive found my perfect man :P Who lets me get away with murder and also helps me clean the mess ;)
