elixa

You are correct, children are resilient, and no matter what path you choose in revealing the father's jail issue, he will be ok given some time. You touch on it, and I think the real issue will be future involvement between father and son and whether that itself will be healthy.

I can speak from some personal experience, having been born to a single mother (not sure when my father and mother divorced...I have never breeched the issue...I should someday...) who was single from before I can remember until my 2nd grade year. I saw my dad regularly, although more like every 2-3 months as opposed to every month...and while a very gentle and nice man, my mom rarely had anything good to say about him (nor anything bad, for that matter) and he was never a real role model. He was a paranoid schizophrenic before I knew him and as such has never held a job, smoked incessantly, and other things.

I'm starting to ramble a bit, but my point is that while my father was never a role model, nor a bad person, nor an asset to the country or family, I was always allowed to make up my own mind as I wished. My mother never overtly influenced me, and usually if I did exhibit any influence, she balanced it out gently. I have always made up my own mind about him.

Unfortunately, mine never had drug problems or jail problems, so my mom was very open to letting me be with him. Who knows...I even lost track of where this was going. You caught me at a weak point in my day, late afternoon.

I think you're approaching this the right way, and I agree with all your main points. Kids can handle a lot, and it's probably better for them to be exposed to some of the uglier sides of life; that way they'll be better able to handle ugliness later on.

My own father wasn't around much, he just appeared whenever he felt like playing Dad which is bad for kids at the age yours is at. Kids that age need stability and to know they can depend on their parents. Fathers (or mothers) should either be there consistantly or not be there at all. They don't do the kids any favours coming around from time to time.

Here comes a second comment!

Staff parties are awful, but at least it's free food and drink.

wow...now that's a first entry...uhh...welcome. I hope you like it here.