eliana

hello to all,
hope everyone had an extravagant thanksgiving. god, i fucking hate holidays!!!
i decided not to move in with my b/f and to just move back in with mom. he got pissed and started blaming all kinds of stuff on me. than he snorted a bar and drank and passed out. is there something wrong with that situation? i thought so. but if i try to talk to him he gets pissed, especially with the drugs in his system.
plus i've been feeling really shitty lately anyways. i'm thinking about going to see a therapist, see if they can help me. just little things are tearing me down.
like my b/f will say something and i feel like my heart's being torn from my chest. i don't know what's wrong with me.
maybe just a rough patch in our relationship.
jesus i need help.
i cried all morning sunday. the night before he left me alone when he was drunk and went to a friends house.
i just don't know what to do anymore.
if u guys can relate i'd appreciate it.
i love him, this i know. it just seems like we're changing, growing apart, i don't know. this sucks.
at least school's almost over and i get to move back to where i know people and have friends and can paint every goddamn day if i want to. i'll at least be a little bit less psycho then.

well, i suppose that's all for now. only one ring in my nipples now, left the right one in(most sensitive anyway). no biggie, looks better.
and i went to frederick's yesterday and spent more than i probly should have. oh well. sex is important after all.

later guys
e