It’s been closer to 2 years since I shot my last SG session. With the gorgeous @hazelray 🥰 and about a year (other than the friends wedding and a couple engagement shoots) since I shot at all.
Why?
Burnout. It wasn’t the kind of burnout I was expecting. I WANTED to shoot! I WANTED to edit. But I found myself so unable to do so! I’d sit down to edit and my drive was gone. I’d hop online to engage and stir up some potential hopeful to shoot with and I’d do anything but.
And I didn’t realize why until I found myself 4,000+ fans on FetLife as an Illustrator. I had put myself at the bottom of the list in every category of importance. I would promise the WORLD (and truly intend to deliver) for everyone but myself. And then, when I clearly COULDN’T deliver on the timeline I wanted, I’d beat myself up. And like a rotting corpse, I scared away anyone who WOULD want to work and be a great match. Left with people who wanted to use me or ghost me (because I wasn’t valuing myself why would THEY value me???)… I felt trapped and hopeless.
After a year of HARD illustration work. I’m seeing results. I’m getting PAID commissions and actually being able to pay SOME bills 🤯. And I recognize what I wanted my photography to be all along. I recognize what I could have been doing all along IF I had just valued myself and what I was doing.
Moral of the story, GIVE YOURSELF MORE LOVE NOW. And… uhh… oh. I’m coming back!! 🥰 I hope you all don’t mind engaging with me more! I’m coming for you!! ❤️🔥