Ok, life is changing and I'm sick of trying to hold on to things the way they were. It's definitely time for a change. Horrible updates: my wife has decided that our marriage is completely dead to her. She want's me out, and she has a work boyfriend that she is intending to hook up with at a work function in 30 days. It's wonderful to watch how into this man she is, however it's heartbreaking that I've felt that way about her for 12 years and she hasn't felt the same in 10.
So, I could decide to try to fix things... work on me... try to prove I'm a valid husband. But really... I don't want to be with someone who doesn't value me for who I am and what I do. So... I get to work on me for ME.
First step, I want to be more social. I have always been an introverted extrovert. In other words, an extrovert who feared for what other people thought of me... also I grew up with really strong empathy so I can pretty much read anyone in the room before they talk to me (not as much fun as you'd think).
I have been afraid of exposing WHO I am while trying to boost my ElegantOrchid brand, trying to appear fully professional and jobby... but I'm so damn lonely and I just want to make some friends. I'm not a horrible person but for some reason I feel like I'm being avoided or ignored by the masses. So... I'm taking the kiddy gloves off and I'm being full on ME. Don't like it? Fuck off!
