Sorry, y'all. Not trying to be a Debbie Downer but I'm just having a rough day. I've got a COMPLETELY open day tomorrow... had a bikini shoot cancel (health issues... I feel bad for her) but I was TOTALLY stoked to shoot. And now... I'm left without a shoot. It was the third one on the books for the week. (None of them paying, don't jump down my throat). And I've gotten to the point in my photography where I'm having REALLY great stuff come out but I just don't have ANY clients.
I can do the fake it until you make it thing in social media where I act like I'm SUPER busy... driving my kid to school and my wife to work and then coming home and playing with the baby while checking my social media (REAL busy). But I hate that. It's so inauthentic and I want the people who connect with me to do so on an authentic level.
Also, my mother in law is coming next week and I KNOW her conversations will all have something to do with my job search. I DON'T WANT A FUCKING JOB. I WANT CLIENTS!!!! ARGH FUCK! Don't get me wrong... I teach music. I make a decent wage doing that. BUT it's not my passion. Shooting intimate portraits... boudoir... nudes... fine art... what ever you want to call it... THAT is my passion. And I feel like a failure because I can't even explain to normal people why I love it and why they should hire me to do it. :/
Fuck it all.
