I'm not one who learns lessons easily. I'm patient and I'm kind... I'm REALLY too nice. But this lesson has taken me 32 years to really pick up on. Which is funny because it's also the first lesson I ever learned. Let me give you a little background...
I grew up in Minneapolis... well, my early childhood. I have always been a giver and a people pleaser. I remember being about 5 and I had a friend who wanted to trade toys with me. My most cherished toys were my Ninja Turtles. I remember him asking if I wanted to trade... hey the grass is always greener, right? So I did. The only problem, he would trade me broken and shitty toys for my brand new and well taken care of toys. I can still hear my mom saying, "Matt, don't give away your Ninja Turtles." It's a saying she would echo to me at least once a month... and she STILL says it!
Now let's fast forward 25 years! I'm working at a dead end job that is LITERALLY sucking the life out of me. I need the job to pay for my family to eat and live... but every NIGHT I would go to work was like taking a year off my life. As I stood there plunging a toilet, shit and water spraying everywhere... the floor submerged in two inches of fecal water... I hear the echo of my mom, "Don't give away your Ninja Turtles." And it hits me...
My time... my vitality... my childrens' father... is being traded off for some shitty broken toy that no one wants. The lesson... if YOU don't value yourself no one else will. I'm not saying I'm Godly, but I'm sure as shit better than that shitty job was trying to convince me I was.
Since leaving, my world hasn't fallen apart. I've been able to get in touch with WHO I want to be. Now I just have to make it HAPPEN.... hopefully before unemployment runs out ;)