@rambo @missy
I actually just watched a really cute movie where picking up a pay phone (yes, some places they still have those...) and giving yourself advice about the future was a cute moment between the two main characters. It didn't hurt that the beau of the movie was Chris Evans.
Anyway... This is how MY phone call would go.
Ring ring... ring ring... ring ring... "Dammit, pick up the PHONE!" ... Ring ring...
"Hello?"
"Hi, Matt... this is your future calling. No... seriously. April 29th, 2018. Yeah. Ok, sit down. Ready? Ok. There's a LOT of shit that's about to rain down on you. But don't be afraid. You're going to join the Army, go in and don't look back... it'll all work out for the better. DON'T, and I repeat DON'T date ANY girl from Brainard/Baxter, Minnesota. In fact, if you find someone from there... run like HELL! You're going to learn to play the saxophone, but... do me a favor, don't practice too much or take everyone's criticism so personally.
"Now the big one. Follow your dreams. Don't settle. Caitlin Callier, has a HUGE crush on you. Just... know that. Oh, and don't try to teach her guitar. She'd rather go on a REAL date.
"In life, there will be people that will push you. For the better or for the worse. If it's for the worse, punch them in the fucking face. If it's for the better, keep your mouth shut, do what they say and realize that as much as it sucks you'll be fine. Got that?"
Ok. Now I just wait for my present to get better... right? ;)