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electric

last known address: medium sized yellow sun, small blue planet, milky way galaxy

SG Since 2005

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Thursday Jan 17, 2008

Jan 16, 2008
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i am too fucking serious.
meh.

someone tell me a damn joke already.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
bellyjack:
Also not a joke, but (while digging through my 'Sent Email' folder looking for motor specifications and other techno crap), ran across this, and thought it worth a suppressed giggle or two. I have seldom heard bogus and irrelevant jargon uttered with such sincerity - well, except for late night infomercials - and took the time to transcribe it (located below the Spoiler fold).



SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Here at Rockwell Automation's world headquarters, research has been
proceeding to develop a line of automation products that establishes new standards for quality, technological leadership, and operating excellence.

With customer success as our primary focus, work has been proceeding on the
crudely conceived idea of an instrument that would not only
provide inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase detractors, but
would also be capable of automatically synchronizing cardinal gram meters.

Such an instrument comprised of Dodge gears and bearings, Reliance Electric
motors, Allen-Bradley controls, and all monitored by Rockwell Software, is ... Rockwell Automation's retroencabulator.

Now basically, the only new principle involved is that instead of power
being generated by the relative motion of conductors and fluxes,
its produced by the modial interaction of magneto reluctance and capacitive
duractance.

The original machine had a baseplate of prefamulated Amulite surmounted by a
malleable logarithmic casing, in such as way that the
two Sperving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fam.

The line-up consisted simply of six hydrocoptic Marsel vanes so fitted to
the ambiphasient lunar wain shaft that side fumbling was effectively prevented.

The main winding was of the normal Lotus O'Deltoid type placed in
panendermic semibuloid slots of the stator, every seventh conductor
being connected by a non-reversible tremude pipe to the differential girdle
spring on the up-end of the gram meters.

Moreover, whenever fluorescent score motion is required, it may also be
employed in conjunction with a drawn reciprocation dingle arm - to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.

The retroencabulator has now reached a high level of development, and it's
being successfully used in the operation of Milford Trunnions.

Its available soon - wherever Rockwell automation products are sold.

Jan 20, 2008
electric:
you guys are awesome!

thanks everyone who responded!

and now for something completely different...
Jan 23, 2008

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