elan

Good lord, Johanna, let it GO!!!!!

Fuck, why can't I just let it go? Its been years. Over 3 years. But I'm still bitter. I just want to ask, why does he get good things when I had to do without for so long? He was living it up, going out, eating out.. I had even had to go to a food bank. I had...
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So, I've been much into spiritual stuff lately.. No, not religous (for instance, I'd rather scoop out my right ovary with a spork than call my self a "Christian"). Anyway.. I was given this quote and it says a lot to me.

"Anything that creates fear, hatered and/or division is NEVER of divine origin."

I believe this. Wholeheartedly.

late night I tend to sit and touch on my face, weird sleepy/nervous habit. So now I'm wearing cotton gloves and its fucking with my typing. I figure enough of this and I won't touch my face anymore. Bleh. Also for bed time (see last entry).

Hoping to get to go to the show this weekend at the Jive. Gotta have some $$ and childcare...
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I wanted to go somewhere today. I wanted to do *something* I didn't. I sat and played my son's Jimmy Neutron game. Took a bath. Ate left over pizza, the few remaining chip crumbs and a banana. Just the boy and me attempting to entertain eachother.

I can't stop picking at my face. I look like I'm on crank. You know, wonderful sores on my...
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I can't believe I'm still sick. I mean, wtf?!

Anyhow.. nothing horribly interesting going on around here.. *sigh* I need to watch a new movie or something.

man, I need to work on the paintings for the SGB show.. (aka "tips" for the girls)

Drugs are helping. Not as much as I had hoped, but I'm NOT complaining. I actually did housework, which needs to get done, but honestly I'm sure I should be resting instead. I'm just tired of being sick all the time. I never get anything done because I always feel crappy.

Well, the sun is coming out more often and I'm determined that I will...
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results? Viral upper respiratory infection.

translation? A bad cold

However, she did think it warranted some stuff to numb my throat so I wouldn't have such coughing fits and also cold meds to get rid of the post nasal drip. I hate medications but I'd do just about anything to avoid feeling like this.

you guys are so cool. can't believe the support. I'm going to the doctor's at 2:30 pm. I can't stop coughing. Can't lay down because it gets worse. I'm glad I put a couple bills off. If I hadn't I would't be able to pay the co-pay for the doctor's office. I need to try to find a way to rest a little.

On a...
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Slept like crap. I have this wonderful rattling in my chest that keeps me coughing, and therefore, awake. I finally figured out that if its really cold in my room it helps open up my lungs and I can kind of sleep better.. of course it was right as my boy came home (stayed at my brother's last night) so now I'm up anyway. Now...
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