el_oso

well, me and jackie have broken up...again. this would be the 3rd time in about 2 years.
now, i guess a logical person would look at that and say, 'buddy, it's not going to work out, let it go.' but no, not i. it happened 3 days ago, and i still feel like crying all the time, and food tastes like shit, and i feel like i need to puke all the time. i just can't deal with it. it's worse because she's a lot more social than i am, and she'll be going out all the time while i sit at home and feel sorry for myself. i've been trying to take my mind off of it, but late at night when i'm trying to sleep but can't, it's impossible to get away from. all i can think about is her, and us, and what happened, and why it can't work.
in the 2 years we've gone out, i haven't really made any new friends and lost some of the ones i used to have here at school. all of my good friends live back home, or in winnipeg. i really need somebody to just give me a friggin' hug or something, that's all. i call them, but all they can do is talk to me, and that's not what i need.
all i have right now is future plans to go to europe. it's the only thing i can think about that makes me feel good...